Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Like Taking Candy From a Baby...

Last week I was asked to photograph a lunch function for work. A bigwig was in town and lots of people were coming to our offfice to have lunch and hear him speak.

On the day of the event, a few people had canceled and, to make the room appear full, I was asked to sit in on one of the tables and partake in the free, catered lunch.

I know. Major Imposition, right? I lead a hard life, indeed.

I sat at a table next to an older lady who immediately congratulated me on  having a job after college (yay!), and on being smart enough to take pictures (double yay!?).

Judging by her age, I can only assume that to have your photograph taken when she was young meant holding the same pose for an hour. Regardless, I was polite and made small talk while I nibbled on my salad.

When the caterers brought out our real lunch, I was only a few bites in when the bigwig took the stage and the part I was supposed to be photographing started.

Although I was still hungry, I politely excused myself, jumped up and started snapping away.

About halfway through the hour-long presentation, I noticed the caterers were serving dessert; a little sampler plate of tiny cookies, a brownie bite covered in ganache, a creme brulee fruit tart and some strawberries drizzled with chocolate. How could you not notice, right? YUM!

Still hungry, I glanced at the clock and saw that I could blow this popsicle stand in 10 minutes and cozy up to my dessert plate. Who NEEDS lunch?

As I walked back by the table, the little old lady grabbed my arm and thrust her glass into my hand, "be a dear and get me some iced tea, would you?" Slightly confused, I smiled and said sure. Maybe she forgot that I was not, in fact, one of the catering staff, but an attendee of the luncheon who was *just* sitting and having a conversation with her and who happens to take photos. Whatever, Alzheimers is a bitch, right?

I returned with her glass of tea and positioned myself near her side of the table to take a few more pictures as the presentation was beginning to wind down.

As I walked behind the lady again to cross to the other side of the room, she once again grabbed my arm and asked if I might bring her a paper napkin. Again, trying to be nice I agreed and quickly returned with the napkin before rushing off to snap my last photos of the event that was rapidly coming to a halt.

I was waiting for the perfect shot when, out of the corner of my eye I saw the little old lady slide my dessert plate over to her, now empty, plate and watched as she began to delicately arrange my dessert into the napkin I had just delivered to her.

I noticed the caterers were beginning to clear plates and my first thought was 'aww, how nice! she wanted to make sure I at least got to enjoy my dessert!' The little old lady caught me watching her and I gave her a smile to thank her for her thoughtfulness. She returned my smile and then promptly placed the napkin of goodies inside her purse, stood from the table and shuffled towards the door.

Me, still smiling like an idiot as she left the conference room, took a few seconds before it dawned on me, "Hey! That bitch stole my cookies!"


Mrs. E said...

All I can do is laugh...!

Leslie said...

I am laughing so hard!!!!! Some people.....