Things that are awesome about pregnancy

See if you can tell which ones I’m being sarcastic about…..

• A “late night” is 10:00 and if I sit or lay down shortly after dinner, all bets are off. Sleep has never come this easy for me, this coming from the girl who pretty much requires a solid 10, 11 sometimes 12 hours of sleep to function, however it can be frustrating when Husband doesn’t come home from class until 10 and you’d like to see him and spend time enjoying a TV show while trying to keep your eyes open. See also: waking up in a puddle of your own drool. Sexay!

• The dull ache that spontaneously erupts in your hip joints when you get up from a seated or laying position. Luckily once the girls warm up, we’re off and running, but for those first 45 seconds I’m probably quite a sight to be seen hobbling around.

• The comments. “You’re so big!” “You’re not showing very much at all!” (What?!)  “You’re not going to go into labor here are you?” "Look at you! You're starting to waddle!" “You think you’re tired now,just wait till you’re up at 2 am with a screaming baby!” “You really shouldn’t be moving furniture” (I was pushing in my chair) Such good opportunities to practice biting my tongue and smiling and nodding. Did someone write me a prescription for patience and tolerance?!

• My “memory foam” legs. I’m retaining water. It’s gross. And also fun! I like to make shapes and spell out ‘hello’ with the indents that my fingers leave on my legs. Husband is not nearly as impressed with my new skill, he calls it “Tempurpedic mattress legs” he really knows how to make a girl’s heart melt, I tell ya.

• Watching your clothes move because of the alien in your tummy. Buttons flinch, zipper pulls bounce, ribbed tank tops become ripply. What’s even more awesome? Lifting up your shirt to watch your skin mutate before your eyes (only in the privacy of my own home, mind you)….have you ever seen a baby bum move underneath 7 layers of skin? No? I encourage you to experience this…..it’s quite unsettling.

In all seriousness though, people…..this whole thing is pretty cool. I’d do it again and again and again in a heartbeat (which I’m sure thrills Mommy Dearest). Pretty neat what our bodies can do, and from what I understand, the best is yet to come.