I’m a registered text offender...

My apologies to anyone who’s texted me in the last month and has been utterly confused, confounded or downright offended by my written communication.

But you see I have a completely logical and reasonable explanation; I have an iPhone. And that iPhone has Auto Correct which is simultaneously my saving grace and the bane of my existence.

For the most part, Auto Correct is the perfect angel; capitalizing proper nouns because I’m too darn lazy, adding apostrophes in the correct places thus narrowly avoiding a homonym fail (see: their, there and they’re) or keeping me healthy or ironically trendy (see: I’ll vs. Ill).

But more often than not, Auto Correct loves nothing more than to make an ass of me at the most inopportune times.

Please allow this post to act as a PSA to those who regularly engage in text conversations with me:

• Please know that I mean books when I ask to borrow your boobs. I’ve got a pair of my own, 4 would be overkill.

• When I tell you I’m about to poop in the shower, I mean pop. And by all means, I’m sitting in the car not….well, you get it.

• I didn’t mean to call you a prick, honest. That was supposed to say pick.

• And please, spare me the Revolutionary War tales when my text reads Whigs. I meant to say ‘which.’

And the best part about Auto Correct? As soon as you realize you’ve made the initial mistake and are in a rush to correct it in a subsequent text, Auto Correct wants to continue to correct you with it’s recommended verbiage. A text conversation will often look like this:

Big Sister: Maybe instead of scones with tea on Sunday we can have Dutch Babies

Me: Oooh yes, Duty babies

Me: **DUTY

Me: Dangit! **dutiful

Me: aah! Dots

Me: Duty

Me: Duty

Me: D U T C H….damn iPhone

Big Sister: I totally LOL’d. I was about to confirm we weren’t actually making duty babies.

Me: Come to think of it, we should totally make duty babies….they get S#!@ done!

And yes, I have tried turning Auto Correct off and either my thumbs are disproportionately huge to the iPhone keyboard, or typing on the damn thing is meant to be impossible so that in order to get anything resembling a cohesive thought across you'd have to use Auto Correct.

Husband: Be there soon

Me: Oo

Me: **Oo

Husband: Wait, what?

Me: *OK

Me: Damn iPhone

Husband: It might be operator error this time babe

And don’t think Steve Jobs isn’t enjoying every last second of these shenanigans... anyone else see the resemblance??



So Long 2010, Hello 2011

My deepest apologies for not checking in more frequently, and to you Mom, for leaving you without proper reading material.

The last few weeks of 2010 and the first (almost) week of 2011 have flown by leaving me in its wake and overcome with the feeling that I’m standing on the edge of a great precipice, both excited and terrified of what the year will bring.

Despite what others have said about 2010, it was a pretty hallmark year for my neck of the woods (pun not initially intended).

Here’s a recap:

- Daniel was getting settled in his new role of store manager in Downtown Capitol City and knocking the other guys out of the park in store GP and sales.

- Big Sister announced that her food baby was actually a real baby and we could expect to have the little nugget make its appearance around Thanksgiving. Cue jaws dropping (me), an estatic “wahoo” (Husband) followed by an “I knew it!” (Mom), and marching around the room giggling and clucking like a hen (Grandma).

- The very next day, I began a new job on the 15th floor in a tall building in Downtown Capitol City and, amid the click-clacking of heels, crisply pressed suits and elevator rides, feel more and more like a real adult.

- 2 glorious weeks spend on the coolest and most amazing houseboat ever. Days were spent water-logged, napping and snacking; evenings were filled with silly games, delicious food and delirious happiness.

- Husband fetches himself another promotion (and pay increase) and is transferred to the top-earning store of the region, ironically, the one he started at as a sales associate. His career with the company has truly come full circle.

- A week later, after four years of nagging by family and…yes, some by me too, Husband finds it in himself to go back to school. This time for a degree in business, the man has found his calling and is unstoppable, watch out world!

- Thanksgiving came twice this year, one loud, crazy one spent in San Jose and a second more traditional, quiet, low key one spent at home. Both insanely delicious. Both filled with love and laughter. Neither spent with a new baby…

- Until (!) Monday morning, Big Sister is rushed to the hospital — ok, probably not, but in my mind it was very dramatic made more so by an uplifting movie soundtrack— and a mere 9 hours later, Baby Girl E is born.

- Christmas was made that much more magical by having the newest member of our family cooing and squeaking while we unwrapped presents and took turns fawning over her.

- The last weeks of 2010 brought grandparents, newly made great-grandparents on a train from Colorado to meet Baby Girl E and tour the grandchildren’s recent stomping grounds.

The family rang, ok more like calmly and obligatorily, welcomed the New Year in the nick of time (someone woke from their mid-movie nap and said “Hey! It’s midnight”) and kisses were exchanged as we rushed off to bed.

The next morning, without warning or foresight, we awoke to a blanket of snow. Sparkly, white and pristine. I take that as an omen that 2011 will be a year of fresh starts, more new beginnings and more beautiful moments than a year can possibly hold.

School Daze

That's right, we're in the swing of community college.

This has become my reality:



I know I shouldn't complain, I really do....but if I can't gritch to the anonymous blogosphere, then who?

Life Pre-C.C

- An hour of one-on-one time with my husband to and from work each day, listening to our favorite morning show and starting the day with inside jokes and lots of laughs.

- Coming home at the same, reasonable time, planning dinner and talking about our day

- Evening bike rides, walks, or trips to the gym

- Enjoying dinner *together*

- Taking turns choosing the movie and play fighting over sides of the couch

- Going to bed again *together* (are you seeing a trend here) at a relatively reasonable time

Life after C.C

- Driving to work alone, no carpool lane to bypass the morning traffic, still enjoying that morning radio show with my husband, but now we have to do it via bluetooth headsets.

- I come home to an empty apartment, he comes home at 9:30, and that's if there aren't bozos on the road causing accidents...

- No more bike rides or walks, Husband doesn't want me to go out alone in case I get hit by a car, get lost (don't hold it past me) or wife-napped. Now I go down and sweat it out alone at the gym.

- Dinner? These day's constitutes a bowl of cereal, grilled cheese and soup, or noodles, if I'm feeling adventerous, a baked potato.

- No more fights over movies or sides of the couch, I get my way every night....and I've never been more bored.

- Although I have yet to go to bed alone (wait till finals season people...) my bedtime is progressively getting later and later as Husband can't possibly be tired an hour after getting out of class...


And it's only been a week! I'm a spoiled baby...this I know, you wanna do something about it?!

The thing is, as miserable (melodramatic enough for you?) as I've been, I know we'll figure out a routine and the semester will fly by as easy as possible and make the time we spend together that much sweeter.

And someday, if we're really lucky, we'll look back on this time and think "Weren't those days great?"

Movin' on up...

Not me, Husband.

Well ok, I guess that means me too....

Anyways, Husband got a promotion of sorts at work. A promotion that will open new doors, lend itself to new challenges and opportunities and the really great part?? More money (don't lie, you were thinking it too!)

You see, Husband became the proud store manager of Cell Phone store in downtown Capitol City back in December. At the time, this particular store was the bottom performer in the region, we're talking sales in the crapper, staff unorganized and employees making their own schedules...not good.

But, give my husband (you know, that guy who could charm birds out of a tree) a month and what does he do??

Puts a firm schedule in place
Whips that staff into selling shape
Cleans the bathroom (no joke I think it was the first time in several months)
and DOUBLES the store's gross profit

In 30 days!

He took the red-headed stepchild of a store and turned it into one of the top performing stores in the region.

So, when a management position opens up at the BIG DOG store, the store that's the flagship for all the other stores, the lead by example store, the one that all the other's look up to, guess who gets the job??

This guy:




You know what that means?
-More money to save for a house
-An opportunity to FINALLY go back to school to get his degree, this time in business

We got the news on a Thursday, which wasn't conducive to going out and REALLY celebrating so we did champagne and cake at home:





Then on Friday night I treated him to a dinner of burgers and beer




and Imax tickets to Inception



Congrats Cute Boy! I couldn't be more proud....

Things that turn :( into :)

One bad day is normal
Two bad days is...bad
THREE bad days is hellish

This week is shaping up to be a real winner!

So, after a particulary rotten day what do I come home to??

18 of these:



This:



These (MY FAVORITE!):



And one husband who is so fantastic that he intuitively knows by the tone of my voice what kind of day I'm having even when I say "I don't want to get into it now, I'll tell you about it later" and exactly what will make it better.



They really broke the mold when they made that one...