STOP!

Have you ever wanted to just scream at life and the world just spinning out of control “STOP IT ALREADY! JUST STOP!”

I need a breather… the current state of my house can attest to this. The dark circles under my eyes would second it, and my growing list of to dos would raise its hand as a third.

I blogged once the entire month of October…..once.

But in my defense, because I’m pretty much the only one who will rise to my defense when it comes to not blogging, October was a hellish month.

Don’t get me wrong, it ended spectacularly with the best baby shower evah! And our first Halloween with trick-or-treaters. But dammit if October didn’t kick my butt.

Let me count the ways:

-         The first week of October found husband and I in court, suing our apartment complex for return of our security deposit, a Doctor’s appointment with an almost certain diagnosis of Gestational Diabetes, and a 3-hour glucose test that would, inevitably, unfortunately, confirm said diagnosis.
Monthly rating : Well, this is inconvenient!

-         The second week of October was spent crying over the previous weeks’ diagnosis and what that would mean for the remainder of the pregnancy (at the time 12 weeks), constant scrutiny over what I could and was supposed to eat and, finally, a 3-hour long class showing Husband and I exactly what to eat (lots of protein, whole grains and veggies, absolutely NO SWEETS) when to eat (every 2-3 hours….blech) and when and how to prick my fingers (four times a day, side of the finger, squeeze until you get enough blood). To really put the icing on the cupcake (that I can no longer have), a couple of co-workers decided this would be the week to be total jerks to me and my boss decided to sit back and do nothing. To say I was stressed beyond capacity and an emotional wreck is a vast understatement.  
Monthly rating : Well, this is inconvenient!  Certainly it can’t get any worse…..can it?

-         The third week of October was spent eating force feeding myself, pricking my finger, charting blood sugar numbers and listening to Husband struggle with a terrible head cold. Towards the end of the week,despite eating what I was supposed to, when I was supposed to my numbers kep tcoming back too high, and the Doctor said that since diet wasn’t controlling the GD she advised I begin medication to help regulate my blood sugars. If that didn’t do the trick, she said, I’d move on to injectable insulin. Needless to say, I not only felt like a failure, I was devastated, embarrassed, scared and really friggen frustrated.  She also discussed what this meant for the remainder of the pregnancy (now 11 weeks) i.e twice weekly fetal monitoring sessions to make sure Baby Girl wasn’t in distress or getting too big, and possible induction between weeks 39 and 40.
Monthly rating : Well, this is inconvenient! Certainly it can’t get any worse…..can it? To hell with it all!

-         The fourth week of October is when things finally began to turn somewhat. My baby shower, hosted by Mommy Dearest, Big Sister, Ginger Snap and Monster was a total surprise and really made this girl feel pretty darn lucky and loved, despite all the not-so-great that was happening. My first fetal monitoring sessions proved to be exactly the kind of reassurance that I had been craving for the past 31 weeks (I’m a worrier ok?!). I got to see Baby Girl via ultrasound, and hear her heartbeat speed and slow with everykick to my rib and squirm in my tummy. The nurses were patient and kind, answering all of my questions and reassuring me that this diagnosis would not destroy me. (Make no mistake, by this point Husband and I had cemented our Rose Colored sunglasses in place, were focused on the silver lining and were making the best of the situation, as we always do when facing adversity)
Monthly rating : Well, this is inconvenient!Certainly it can’t get any worse…..can it? To hell with it all! I think I can….

So you see, in my defense, there wasn’t a whole heck of a lot that I was “loving on Wednesdays” or fun photos to take with my iPhone, or even things that I was ready to share with members of my own family, let alone with the entire blogosphere and whomever may stumble here on occasion.  This blog might have taken a turn for the worst and could have been pretty dark there for awhile. But like the saying goes, when it rains it pours and then the sun comes out.
It goes without saying that the sun is definitely back in my life….

Missing the biggest ray of sunshine of them all, my Mommy Dearest

A Box of Happy!

Big Sister turned 27 on the first of this month and I thought I'd share what I put together for her birthday.

Our house budget has really put a crimp in my gift-giving style so I've been forced to be as resourceful and thrifty as possible, especially as we go into the Birthday Hell part of the year. Here's a rundown of birthdays happening in the first 4 months of the year:

-Monster: February 22

One week later...

- Big Sister: March 1st

Two weeks later...

-Mommy Dearest: March 22

A week and a half later...

- Me!: April 3

Two weeks later...

- Husband: April 17

And by that time our rendition of Happy Birthday is tired, out of tune and probably quite unpleasant for anyone listening, and we're so sick of cake it's pathetic.

This year, I knew I needed to do something a little more special for Big Sister, the transition from "just one of the girls" to "mommy" is not as easy or glamorous as one might think and it takes a toll on a girl. Her birthday present needed to be all about her fabulous self, not even the slightest hint of "mommy," and simply decadent.

Big Sister is on a budget herself, apparently babies are expensive or something?? And I knew whatever funds were left over at the end of the month probably go towards babywipes, nipple cream and laundry detergent— oooh fun!

So I came up with a box of the simple stuff you buy yourself when you need a little pick me up, and called it a Box of Happy!

Wanna peek inside??

Lots of good loot! Such as:

- Peeps- Big Sister's favorite Easter candy

- Bubblegum- When was the last time you blew bubbles just for fun?? (plus it always reminds me of being a kid)

- A soft cuddly scarf. Seriously, that scarf is like a little piece of heaven wrapped around your neck. I think magical fairys knit it with Unicorn hair or something ridiculous because IT.IS.CRAZY SOFT.

- A relaxing candle. One thing about Big Sister? She ALWAYS has a candle burning when you go over to her house. The girl loves her some candles.

- Pink sparkly lipgloss and fuschia nailpolish- The nailpolish had to be of the instant dry variety because with Baby E around, it takes Big Sister 2-3 times as long to do anything anymore. At least this way she can have pretty nails in an instant.

- A pretty frame with the poem 'I Carry Your Heart' by E.E. Cummings that is a pretty fantastic description of the relationship between sisters. Take a look:

My graphic designer work friend is going to help me turn this into something really cool so it's not just a poem printed out on lame paper shoved into a frame.

In the end, Big Sister was really excited to have a whole box of stuff just for her. I really hope she understands that just because she's a "mommy"now, she's still "one of the girls" and deserves to be spoiled once in a while.

Love you Big Sissy!

I’m a registered text offender...

My apologies to anyone who’s texted me in the last month and has been utterly confused, confounded or downright offended by my written communication.

But you see I have a completely logical and reasonable explanation; I have an iPhone. And that iPhone has Auto Correct which is simultaneously my saving grace and the bane of my existence.

For the most part, Auto Correct is the perfect angel; capitalizing proper nouns because I’m too darn lazy, adding apostrophes in the correct places thus narrowly avoiding a homonym fail (see: their, there and they’re) or keeping me healthy or ironically trendy (see: I’ll vs. Ill).

But more often than not, Auto Correct loves nothing more than to make an ass of me at the most inopportune times.

Please allow this post to act as a PSA to those who regularly engage in text conversations with me:

• Please know that I mean books when I ask to borrow your boobs. I’ve got a pair of my own, 4 would be overkill.

• When I tell you I’m about to poop in the shower, I mean pop. And by all means, I’m sitting in the car not….well, you get it.

• I didn’t mean to call you a prick, honest. That was supposed to say pick.

• And please, spare me the Revolutionary War tales when my text reads Whigs. I meant to say ‘which.’

And the best part about Auto Correct? As soon as you realize you’ve made the initial mistake and are in a rush to correct it in a subsequent text, Auto Correct wants to continue to correct you with it’s recommended verbiage. A text conversation will often look like this:

Big Sister: Maybe instead of scones with tea on Sunday we can have Dutch Babies

Me: Oooh yes, Duty babies

Me: **DUTY

Me: Dangit! **dutiful

Me: aah! Dots

Me: Duty

Me: Duty

Me: D U T C H….damn iPhone

Big Sister: I totally LOL’d. I was about to confirm we weren’t actually making duty babies.

Me: Come to think of it, we should totally make duty babies….they get S#!@ done!

And yes, I have tried turning Auto Correct off and either my thumbs are disproportionately huge to the iPhone keyboard, or typing on the damn thing is meant to be impossible so that in order to get anything resembling a cohesive thought across you'd have to use Auto Correct.

Husband: Be there soon

Me: Oo

Me: **Oo

Husband: Wait, what?

Me: *OK

Me: Damn iPhone

Husband: It might be operator error this time babe

And don’t think Steve Jobs isn’t enjoying every last second of these shenanigans... anyone else see the resemblance??



So Long 2010, Hello 2011

My deepest apologies for not checking in more frequently, and to you Mom, for leaving you without proper reading material.

The last few weeks of 2010 and the first (almost) week of 2011 have flown by leaving me in its wake and overcome with the feeling that I’m standing on the edge of a great precipice, both excited and terrified of what the year will bring.

Despite what others have said about 2010, it was a pretty hallmark year for my neck of the woods (pun not initially intended).

Here’s a recap:

- Daniel was getting settled in his new role of store manager in Downtown Capitol City and knocking the other guys out of the park in store GP and sales.

- Big Sister announced that her food baby was actually a real baby and we could expect to have the little nugget make its appearance around Thanksgiving. Cue jaws dropping (me), an estatic “wahoo” (Husband) followed by an “I knew it!” (Mom), and marching around the room giggling and clucking like a hen (Grandma).

- The very next day, I began a new job on the 15th floor in a tall building in Downtown Capitol City and, amid the click-clacking of heels, crisply pressed suits and elevator rides, feel more and more like a real adult.

- 2 glorious weeks spend on the coolest and most amazing houseboat ever. Days were spent water-logged, napping and snacking; evenings were filled with silly games, delicious food and delirious happiness.

- Husband fetches himself another promotion (and pay increase) and is transferred to the top-earning store of the region, ironically, the one he started at as a sales associate. His career with the company has truly come full circle.

- A week later, after four years of nagging by family and…yes, some by me too, Husband finds it in himself to go back to school. This time for a degree in business, the man has found his calling and is unstoppable, watch out world!

- Thanksgiving came twice this year, one loud, crazy one spent in San Jose and a second more traditional, quiet, low key one spent at home. Both insanely delicious. Both filled with love and laughter. Neither spent with a new baby…

- Until (!) Monday morning, Big Sister is rushed to the hospital — ok, probably not, but in my mind it was very dramatic made more so by an uplifting movie soundtrack— and a mere 9 hours later, Baby Girl E is born.

- Christmas was made that much more magical by having the newest member of our family cooing and squeaking while we unwrapped presents and took turns fawning over her.

- The last weeks of 2010 brought grandparents, newly made great-grandparents on a train from Colorado to meet Baby Girl E and tour the grandchildren’s recent stomping grounds.

The family rang, ok more like calmly and obligatorily, welcomed the New Year in the nick of time (someone woke from their mid-movie nap and said “Hey! It’s midnight”) and kisses were exchanged as we rushed off to bed.

The next morning, without warning or foresight, we awoke to a blanket of snow. Sparkly, white and pristine. I take that as an omen that 2011 will be a year of fresh starts, more new beginnings and more beautiful moments than a year can possibly hold.

Baby Mommy Shower

On Sunday, the younger sisters, mom and I threw a shower for this crazy couple:

O.K to be fair, the shower was mainly for that minx on the right and that pumpkin she's smuggling under her dress.
For those who don't grasp sarcasm, that's not a pumpkin, but my niece who's due next month.

As the most opinionated of the hostesses, I was adamant that this shower be adult and not crawling with babies or children.

Politically incorrect? Maybe, but I desparately wanted a fun party that everyone would enjoy; young, old, married, single, mommy, not... you get the drift.

From the decor, to the food, to the games we played, the party was meant to say "Welcome Fall...and a new baby" and not scream "BABY!!"

Mission Accomplished if I do say so myself:

Here's a close up of the piece de resistance, the diaper cake:




Those poufy things are tissue paper ruffly globes that mom and monster little sister made, we thought they added the perfect amount of whimsy and pop to our adult party.

Here's also where I give a big shout out to my fabulous husband for hanging them just so, even when that meant rehanging, retying and getting yelled at by a stressed out wife. (Who, me?!)

This is a little station for the fellow moms in attendance to write down their best piece(s) of parenting advice. Because what does every new mom need? Unsolicited advice!

In attendance were good friends who are practically sisters, like L, shown here with the monster


Aunts and work friends who attended with their grown up daughters:


This is BIL's aunt George Ann (center) with Big Sister's work friend Ellen (right) and Ellen's daughter Megan (left).

Big Sister was a regular tourguide showing off the nursery and all the cute things she has ready for Baby (Post on the nursery later maybe?).

These are two of Big Sister's neighbors, I have an idea they'll be a big help when Baby (I know the name, but I'm sworn to secrecy by penalty of death...so we'll just call it baby) comes:

When she wasn't up running tours through the nursery, Big Sister just sat in her chair and glowed.


Pregnancy looks good on her, wouldn't you say?

***This starts a weeklong series of the Mommy Shower Chronicles. Up tomorrow: The games we played***