I want him to do it like this:
Ok so there probably won't be a next time....but this gave me shivvers just watching it. And! He asked her on Husband's and my 11 year dating anniversary, a very good day indeed. Congrats, couple I don't know!
Classic. Timeless. Perfect With Pearls
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Saturday, May 26, 2012
What's in your bag?
I'm a nosey person. Shocker, I know. I'm a no-holds-barred kind of person, talk to me and nothing's off limits and I kind of expect the same from you. But the one frontier that I think is truly telling of a person, but it's too personal, and frankly, kind of weird to ask is "What's in your bag?"
I think it'd be fun to rummage through strangers' bags to see what they carry around on a daily basis and hear the stories behind the trinkets that dance with their everyday essentials.
So.....wanna snoop through my bag?
A peek inside at the mess....I didn't officially weigh it, but I'm pretty sure it weighs at least 7lbs. I basically carry a newborn in addition to my 5 month-old everyday! (so why don't my biceps rival Michelle Obama's?)
Here it is all dumped out. As Husband walked by he said "That's a lot of crap....what are you doing, playing 'I Spy?'"
I ignored him and continued to take pictures of my "crap" like a crazy person.
First up, a pair of earrings and a half - I lost the other earring :( Super sad cuz those were one of my favorite pairs.
How much hair stuff does a person with long hair need? Funny you should ask! Apparently you need 15 bobby pins (that's an estimate....I have more things to do with my time than count bobby pins), 2 spin pins, 2 hair ties, one medium clip.....and a partridge in a pear tree!
Two Revlon lip butters; one in Lollipop and one in Raspberry Pie - part of my quest to find the perfect berry lip color/stain, OPI Nail Polish in Cajun shrimp from when I found myself in open toed shoes at work and needed a touch up, and a tin of Rose Salve from C.O. Bigelow that has thousands of uses, smells divine and lasts for friggen evah.
Personal iPhone (left) work iPhone (right). How do I tell the difference? Easy, my personal phone is black, my work phone is white :) Oh, and the cases help too....
Business card holder with business cards (cuz I'm 'portant!), Bluetooth charger, iPhone charger wrapped up with.....another friggen hair tie!
Cute wallet from Target, Glam sunglasses from Charming Charlie, CoverGirl pressed powder compact and Target Debit card, because work may as well pay me in Target Gift Cards as often as I shop there. And when you live 5 minutes from one, it becomes a problem.....we're working on it.
Three pens, if you know me, I don't have to explain myself.
Baby stuff! Even though my kid can't fit into 3-6 month clothes quite yet, her giant feet are fitting just fine in to 6-12 month socks, when we can get her to wear them that is, it's an ongoing battle. Two baby hair bows, because you never know when the day calls for a bow.
Everyone, meet Maude. Maude is a rainbow caterpillar with a rattle in her tooshie who often finds her head getting gnawed on by our little bird. Ironic, no? I have taken to naming all of Vivi's toys, at our house we also have Monty (giraffe), Charlie (lion), Iris (butterfly) and Harold (duck).
J.Crew coin purse and $1.76 just floating about the depths of my bag.
One pair of retired dice from Harvey's Casino from when we visited Monster in Tahoe.
Makeup pouch- I carry this daily because I often find myself doing my makeup at my desk before work.
This is that pink quilted bag that is full of.....and this is embarrassing, more lipgloss. Clearly I don't have enough lip products, please send more, it's pathetic how lacking I am in this department. Also you'll notice yet another hair clip and that sparkly bow is actually another hair tie, bringing my grand total of hair ties up to 5..... eek!
I will be an old lady who dies with her collections of hair ties, bobby pins, ink pens and lip gloss. Fancy!
A rollerball applicator of my signature fragrance (jeez, that sounds cliche), Chloe. I will never stop wearing this because every time I wear it around my mom when she hugs me, she takes a big whiff and says, mmm you smell so good. Also, people stop me on the streets to ask what I'm wearing, the stuff just mixes really well with my body chemistry.
I think it'd be fun to rummage through strangers' bags to see what they carry around on a daily basis and hear the stories behind the trinkets that dance with their everyday essentials.
So.....wanna snoop through my bag?
About my bag:
It's a J. Crew canvas and leather tote from the Summer 2009 collection. I bought it with my killer discount for a whopping $10 and carried it for approximately 2 days before Rowdy chewed the crap out of one of the straps (Jerk.....I never get nice things) so, added bonus - now one of the handles has texture!
A peek inside at the mess....I didn't officially weigh it, but I'm pretty sure it weighs at least 7lbs. I basically carry a newborn in addition to my 5 month-old everyday! (so why don't my biceps rival Michelle Obama's?)
Here it is all dumped out. As Husband walked by he said "That's a lot of crap....what are you doing, playing 'I Spy?'"
I ignored him and continued to take pictures of my "crap" like a crazy person.
First up, a pair of earrings and a half - I lost the other earring :( Super sad cuz those were one of my favorite pairs.
How much hair stuff does a person with long hair need? Funny you should ask! Apparently you need 15 bobby pins (that's an estimate....I have more things to do with my time than count bobby pins), 2 spin pins, 2 hair ties, one medium clip.....and a partridge in a pear tree!
Two Revlon lip butters; one in Lollipop and one in Raspberry Pie - part of my quest to find the perfect berry lip color/stain, OPI Nail Polish in Cajun shrimp from when I found myself in open toed shoes at work and needed a touch up, and a tin of Rose Salve from C.O. Bigelow that has thousands of uses, smells divine and lasts for friggen evah.
Personal iPhone (left) work iPhone (right). How do I tell the difference? Easy, my personal phone is black, my work phone is white :) Oh, and the cases help too....
Business card holder with business cards (cuz I'm 'portant!), Bluetooth charger, iPhone charger wrapped up with.....another friggen hair tie!
Cute wallet from Target, Glam sunglasses from Charming Charlie, CoverGirl pressed powder compact and Target Debit card, because work may as well pay me in Target Gift Cards as often as I shop there. And when you live 5 minutes from one, it becomes a problem.....we're working on it.
Three pens, if you know me, I don't have to explain myself.
Baby stuff! Even though my kid can't fit into 3-6 month clothes quite yet, her giant feet are fitting just fine in to 6-12 month socks, when we can get her to wear them that is, it's an ongoing battle. Two baby hair bows, because you never know when the day calls for a bow.
Everyone, meet Maude. Maude is a rainbow caterpillar with a rattle in her tooshie who often finds her head getting gnawed on by our little bird. Ironic, no? I have taken to naming all of Vivi's toys, at our house we also have Monty (giraffe), Charlie (lion), Iris (butterfly) and Harold (duck).
J.Crew coin purse and $1.76 just floating about the depths of my bag.
One pair of retired dice from Harvey's Casino from when we visited Monster in Tahoe.
Makeup pouch- I carry this daily because I often find myself doing my makeup at my desk before work.
This is that pink quilted bag that is full of.....and this is embarrassing, more lipgloss. Clearly I don't have enough lip products, please send more, it's pathetic how lacking I am in this department. Also you'll notice yet another hair clip and that sparkly bow is actually another hair tie, bringing my grand total of hair ties up to 5..... eek!
I will be an old lady who dies with her collections of hair ties, bobby pins, ink pens and lip gloss. Fancy!
**That's it! Your turn!**
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Mama Survival Tools
I have no less than 10 friends who are currently pregnant, 7 of them are soon to be first time mommies. But whether you're expecting your first, or your fourth (bless your heart!) there is bound to be an arsenal of things that you'll find make life a little....easier? Here's what has a regular rotation in this Mama's life:
1. Korres Quince Lip balm- Has a nice berry tint that layers beautifully with chapstick or gloss. Plus it leaves nothing behind when smooching baby cheeks.
2. Lansinoh- sure the bottle may say it's for your sore nips, but what this gunk is best for is chapped lips. I swear, I carry a tube of this EVERYWHERE. I also have a tube on my nightstand that I apply most nights and my lips are baby soft by morning. Husband, who is a chronic chapstickabuser user, also uses it....provided I apply it to my finger first and not tell anyone ever that he puts nipple cream on his lips.
Oops :)
3. Dry Shampoo- Sometimes I shower everyday, sometimes I shower every other. I've been using Suave Professionals Keratin Infusion Dry Shampoo. On days that I don't shower, it keeps the greasies at bay. On days that I did shower and wash my hair, I use it to boost volume and add body and....keep the greasies at bay. It has a distinct smell which isn't bad, but, well, it's a smell. I kinda like it but Monster said she could taste it and she wasn't anywhere near me when I sprayed it. So there's that.....
4. Spin Pins/Hair ties- Little Bird has gotten handsy in the last half of her first quarter. Making dangly earrings, nice jewelry and long hairstyles out of the question. These guys are amazing, but I have a tendency to lose them so I keep a backup pair at home. I just got This in my May Birchbox and so far am in lurve. Just not with the pricetag, I'm pretty sure I saw a 3-pack Goody or Scunci brand at Target for $3.50....might have to go pick some up.
5. Yes to Cucumbers Makeup Remover Towelettes- Because sometimes it's all a mama can do to wash her face before falling into bed. It's just a bonus that these smell awesome and have anti-aging properties.
6. Baby Wipes- for the usual and intended purposes, yes, but also because these are great for multiple purposes. I keep a pack of uncented at my desk and use them to wash my hands when I do my makeup at my desk, wipe up errant spit up stains that I failed to notice splattered across my pants while I was getting dressed and to do a quick swipe of the armpits when I realize I've forgotten, again, to put on deoderant. :/ Also, trade secret? We regularly had a supply of these at J.Crew for getting makeup and lipstick off of clothes that had been tried on by makeup spackled faces.....you know the type. I'm telling you, next to magic erasers, these are awesome.
7. International House Iced Coffee- Just because the baby sleeps through the night (yay!) doesn't mean Mama does. Between night sweat, those pregnancy hormones are still on their way out taking the last of my extra pregnancy hair with them, Mama spidey sense on high alert and just general first-time Mama fears and worries means that I'm lucky to get 4 hours of interrupted sleep*. Which means I survive the day by grazing healthy (ish) snacks and downing diet coke or iced coffee by the barrel. And I'm sure I didn't tell you, but my money tree died and I can't afford a daily iced grande, nonfat, upside down, light ice, extra caramel, Caramel Macchiato. (yes that's my real order. Relax, I was a barista for 2 years, that's nothing)
**Fun fact: I have woken myself up staring at the baby monitor. As in, I was asleep, grabbed the monitor, sat up in bed and stared at it before waking up completely.
8. Clinical Strength Deoderant- Apply two clicks at night before bed (when your body temperature is at its peak) and you still smell fresh and clean in the morning. I still usually apply a regular strength unscented in the morning, for insurance, but there are days that I forget and I don't smell a difference come 2 o'clock.
Not pictured:
A quick, chic updo- Because sometimes after getting up at 4:30 to feed, then pump, doing your hair, or hell, even a shower just ain't happenin'. See also Dry Shampoo. I've been sporting these two:
1. Korres Quince Lip balm- Has a nice berry tint that layers beautifully with chapstick or gloss. Plus it leaves nothing behind when smooching baby cheeks.
2. Lansinoh- sure the bottle may say it's for your sore nips, but what this gunk is best for is chapped lips. I swear, I carry a tube of this EVERYWHERE. I also have a tube on my nightstand that I apply most nights and my lips are baby soft by morning. Husband, who is a chronic chapstick
Oops :)
3. Dry Shampoo- Sometimes I shower everyday, sometimes I shower every other. I've been using Suave Professionals Keratin Infusion Dry Shampoo. On days that I don't shower, it keeps the greasies at bay. On days that I did shower and wash my hair, I use it to boost volume and add body and....keep the greasies at bay. It has a distinct smell which isn't bad, but, well, it's a smell. I kinda like it but Monster said she could taste it and she wasn't anywhere near me when I sprayed it. So there's that.....
4. Spin Pins/Hair ties- Little Bird has gotten handsy in the last half of her first quarter. Making dangly earrings, nice jewelry and long hairstyles out of the question. These guys are amazing, but I have a tendency to lose them so I keep a backup pair at home. I just got This in my May Birchbox and so far am in lurve. Just not with the pricetag, I'm pretty sure I saw a 3-pack Goody or Scunci brand at Target for $3.50....might have to go pick some up.
5. Yes to Cucumbers Makeup Remover Towelettes- Because sometimes it's all a mama can do to wash her face before falling into bed. It's just a bonus that these smell awesome and have anti-aging properties.
6. Baby Wipes- for the usual and intended purposes, yes, but also because these are great for multiple purposes. I keep a pack of uncented at my desk and use them to wash my hands when I do my makeup at my desk, wipe up errant spit up stains that I failed to notice splattered across my pants while I was getting dressed and to do a quick swipe of the armpits when I realize I've forgotten, again, to put on deoderant. :/ Also, trade secret? We regularly had a supply of these at J.Crew for getting makeup and lipstick off of clothes that had been tried on by makeup spackled faces.....you know the type. I'm telling you, next to magic erasers, these are awesome.
7. International House Iced Coffee- Just because the baby sleeps through the night (yay!) doesn't mean Mama does. Between night sweat, those pregnancy hormones are still on their way out taking the last of my extra pregnancy hair with them, Mama spidey sense on high alert and just general first-time Mama fears and worries means that I'm lucky to get 4 hours of interrupted sleep*. Which means I survive the day by grazing healthy (ish) snacks and downing diet coke or iced coffee by the barrel. And I'm sure I didn't tell you, but my money tree died and I can't afford a daily iced grande, nonfat, upside down, light ice, extra caramel, Caramel Macchiato. (yes that's my real order. Relax, I was a barista for 2 years, that's nothing)
**Fun fact: I have woken myself up staring at the baby monitor. As in, I was asleep, grabbed the monitor, sat up in bed and stared at it before waking up completely.
8. Clinical Strength Deoderant- Apply two clicks at night before bed (when your body temperature is at its peak) and you still smell fresh and clean in the morning. I still usually apply a regular strength unscented in the morning, for insurance, but there are days that I forget and I don't smell a difference come 2 o'clock.
Not pictured:
A quick, chic updo- Because sometimes after getting up at 4:30 to feed, then pump, doing your hair, or hell, even a shower just ain't happenin'. See also Dry Shampoo. I've been sporting these two:
 |
| Tutorial Here |
 |
| Super Secret Hair Style Trick hint: Google Sock Bun |
Bedtime
Favorite and most sad part of the day for me lately: Bedtime.
Favorite part: hearing Daniel sing our little bird to sleep.....that man could have a career in singing. He gives Sinatra a run for his money.
Sad part: My little baby is one day older. One more day gone, one more day closer to her being a big girl.
Motherhood is full of bittersweet moments like this, it's hard on a Momma's heart.
Favorite part: hearing Daniel sing our little bird to sleep.....that man could have a career in singing. He gives Sinatra a run for his money.
Sad part: My little baby is one day older. One more day gone, one more day closer to her being a big girl.
Motherhood is full of bittersweet moments like this, it's hard on a Momma's heart.
Monday, February 20, 2012
What Changes in Month Two
Last month was a whirlwind, there's no doubt about that. From settling in at home with a newborn to adjusting from "just the two of us" to "three's a crowd," last month was a strange mix of hours dragging along to days turning into weeks which has landed us in a new month - still standing, still learning to breathe easier and still wildly in love with that little baby.
Here's what's up:
- Fueled with enough Diet Coke and Soy Chai Lattes, I am still thriving on 4-5 hours of sleep a night. Don't get me wrong, Miss Vivi is usually in bed by 11 at the latest, but once she's in bed, Husband and I like to have an hour or so to ourselves before turning in ourselves. Unfortunately an hour or so usually turns into 2 or 3 and Vivi gets up to eat between 3 and 5 a.m. and wakes up for the day around 7 so....yeah, I'm in a hell of my own making.
- Schedules become your best friend. Vivan wakes up at 7 to eat, she gets to watch the Mommy and Daddy get ready for the day show. She starts to wimper and fuss around 10:30-11 when she needs a little snack before taking her 11:30 nap (It's 1:00 now and she's still asleep...) She takes another nap around 4 and then we start the bedtime routine at 9:00. When she's napping I try to keep up with chores, nap with her or kick back and read a book or magazine. Or blog.... ok, rarely blog :/
- The meltdowns are few and far between, you've been at this Mommy thing for 8 weeks now, you get pretty good at deciphering which cries mean what, and the proper combination of tricks, toys and moves to alleviate the problem.
- You get better at multitasking. Nursing while putting away groceries? Piece of cake! Sending out emails while bouncing a crying baby? Child's play. Driving while reaching around to the backseat to put a wayward paci back into the baby's mouth? A little risky, but we're working on it.
- You begin to think about, and prepare yourself for the fact that you only have 3-4 weeks left of this Stay at Home Mom gig before you have to return to work..... and you're torn between the excitement and the dread of going back to work because....
- Mommyhood is beginning to feel fun. Note I said beginning, because learning how to stop being selfish when that's all you've been for the previous 7 years of your married life is a hard job. You'll have newfound appreciation for mommys everywhere, but more importantly, your own mother. You'll get weepy everytime you sit down to a dinner that's grown cold because the baby needed to eat first, not because it's not fair, but because you'll think of your mom doing it and the countless other things you do for your baby, for you. And then you realize the sacrifices are only just beginning, that the ones you're making now are small potatoes compared to those you'll make in the years to come. Becoming a mother is to truly realize how much you are loved by your own parents. It's a very humbling and earth moving realization. It will hit you like a semi truck each and every time and you'll hope you thanked them enough, appreciated them enough and made those sacrifices worth while for them.
Here's what's up:
- Fueled with enough Diet Coke and Soy Chai Lattes, I am still thriving on 4-5 hours of sleep a night. Don't get me wrong, Miss Vivi is usually in bed by 11 at the latest, but once she's in bed, Husband and I like to have an hour or so to ourselves before turning in ourselves. Unfortunately an hour or so usually turns into 2 or 3 and Vivi gets up to eat between 3 and 5 a.m. and wakes up for the day around 7 so....yeah, I'm in a hell of my own making.
- Schedules become your best friend. Vivan wakes up at 7 to eat, she gets to watch the Mommy and Daddy get ready for the day show. She starts to wimper and fuss around 10:30-11 when she needs a little snack before taking her 11:30 nap (It's 1:00 now and she's still asleep...) She takes another nap around 4 and then we start the bedtime routine at 9:00. When she's napping I try to keep up with chores, nap with her or kick back and read a book or magazine. Or blog.... ok, rarely blog :/
- The meltdowns are few and far between, you've been at this Mommy thing for 8 weeks now, you get pretty good at deciphering which cries mean what, and the proper combination of tricks, toys and moves to alleviate the problem.
- You get better at multitasking. Nursing while putting away groceries? Piece of cake! Sending out emails while bouncing a crying baby? Child's play. Driving while reaching around to the backseat to put a wayward paci back into the baby's mouth? A little risky, but we're working on it.
- You begin to think about, and prepare yourself for the fact that you only have 3-4 weeks left of this Stay at Home Mom gig before you have to return to work..... and you're torn between the excitement and the dread of going back to work because....
- Mommyhood is beginning to feel fun. Note I said beginning, because learning how to stop being selfish when that's all you've been for the previous 7 years of your married life is a hard job. You'll have newfound appreciation for mommys everywhere, but more importantly, your own mother. You'll get weepy everytime you sit down to a dinner that's grown cold because the baby needed to eat first, not because it's not fair, but because you'll think of your mom doing it and the countless other things you do for your baby, for you. And then you realize the sacrifices are only just beginning, that the ones you're making now are small potatoes compared to those you'll make in the years to come. Becoming a mother is to truly realize how much you are loved by your own parents. It's a very humbling and earth moving realization. It will hit you like a semi truck each and every time and you'll hope you thanked them enough, appreciated them enough and made those sacrifices worth while for them.
Vivi has a Blog!
I started a blog for Vivi Lou. I'm not promising anything grand or spectacular, I know I've set the bar pretty low on this blog as of late, so it should thrill you to no end (my what, 4? 5? readers) that I do solemnly swear to post a photo and, if I'm really feeling ballsy, at least one cohesive sentence every day. Catch up with our little bird at The Littlest Wood Finch.
Now, maybe tomorrow I'll update here, but for now, Bonne Nuit!
Now, maybe tomorrow I'll update here, but for now, Bonne Nuit!
Friday, January 27, 2012
Things no one tells you about the first month
- You, being a breed of person that requires 9 hours of sleep a night minimum, will discover that you can actually function on 2-3 when absolutely necessary.
- That newborn that seemed so perfect and easy in the hospital? Yeah, that don't last. There's a reason hospitals only keep you for 48 hours....it's because after 48 hours, the exhaustion from being born wears off and the little nugget has enough energy to let his/her real colors show. There will be screaming, I'll leave it at that.
- You can overfeed a baby. Babies love to suck, if you put a nipple with food coming out of it up to their little mouths, they will suck, and therefore, eat. If you spent all day remedying whatever ailed you with food, you'd be pretty uncomfortable by the end of the day, too.
along those same lines....
- You will become a human pacifier. And it will make you think back to when you were pregnant and said "I just want my body back." And you will laugh at your former self until you cry and think "haha SUCKER!!" and then you will just cry.
- Your husband will come home to both a baby and a wife crying and there will be a moment where he has to decide who to console first. This is the Sophie's Choice for men..... there is no right answer and 9 times out of 10, he'll pick the baby.
- You will find yourself wondering what the hell you've gotten yourself into. You will think that you've made a huge mistake, you will think you're a terrible mother, you will find yourself wanting to run away. And in one particular shining moment, you will lay the baby in its bed take a few steps back and yell at the baby "What!? What do you want that I'm not doing?!" The baby will stop crying for a few seconds, look at you, pout, and start screaming again. And you will feel like shit.
- The baby will smile at nana, the baby will smile at daddy, the baby will smile at her drooly 13-month old cousin who likes to poke her in the eye and mouth, hell, the baby will smile at the white padded walls of her bassinet but the baby will not always smile at you. This does not mean the baby hates you.....at least I don't think so...
- Dinner conversations with your husband will revolve around the color, texture, consistency and frequency of poop. And you will retain your apptetite while discussing it.
- Baby farts are histerical and cause for celebration....so are poopy diapers.
- You will wonder when this whole mommy thing becomes fun, when it feels rewarding and when you won't feel like a walking stress ball. From what I've been told it's anywere from 6 weeks to 6 months so I'll keep you posted.
- You will hear/read all of these things when you are childless and think 'Not me! Not my baby! It'll be different for me!' And that's ok. You need that denial so that you can get pregnant. And then, once you're at home with your leaky boobs, wearing the same yoga pants for the 5th? 6th? day in a row, and your screaming, wailing newborn in your arms, you will mentally write an apology note to all of the moms you judged because you swore you would do it better.
Let me be the first to say, apology accepted.
- That newborn that seemed so perfect and easy in the hospital? Yeah, that don't last. There's a reason hospitals only keep you for 48 hours....it's because after 48 hours, the exhaustion from being born wears off and the little nugget has enough energy to let his/her real colors show. There will be screaming, I'll leave it at that.
- You can overfeed a baby. Babies love to suck, if you put a nipple with food coming out of it up to their little mouths, they will suck, and therefore, eat. If you spent all day remedying whatever ailed you with food, you'd be pretty uncomfortable by the end of the day, too.
along those same lines....
- You will become a human pacifier. And it will make you think back to when you were pregnant and said "I just want my body back." And you will laugh at your former self until you cry and think "haha SUCKER!!" and then you will just cry.
- Your husband will come home to both a baby and a wife crying and there will be a moment where he has to decide who to console first. This is the Sophie's Choice for men..... there is no right answer and 9 times out of 10, he'll pick the baby.
- You will find yourself wondering what the hell you've gotten yourself into. You will think that you've made a huge mistake, you will think you're a terrible mother, you will find yourself wanting to run away. And in one particular shining moment, you will lay the baby in its bed take a few steps back and yell at the baby "What!? What do you want that I'm not doing?!" The baby will stop crying for a few seconds, look at you, pout, and start screaming again. And you will feel like shit.
- The baby will smile at nana, the baby will smile at daddy, the baby will smile at her drooly 13-month old cousin who likes to poke her in the eye and mouth, hell, the baby will smile at the white padded walls of her bassinet but the baby will not always smile at you. This does not mean the baby hates you.....at least I don't think so...
- Dinner conversations with your husband will revolve around the color, texture, consistency and frequency of poop. And you will retain your apptetite while discussing it.
- Baby farts are histerical and cause for celebration....so are poopy diapers.
- You will wonder when this whole mommy thing becomes fun, when it feels rewarding and when you won't feel like a walking stress ball. From what I've been told it's anywere from 6 weeks to 6 months so I'll keep you posted.
- You will hear/read all of these things when you are childless and think 'Not me! Not my baby! It'll be different for me!' And that's ok. You need that denial so that you can get pregnant. And then, once you're at home with your leaky boobs, wearing the same yoga pants for the 5th? 6th? day in a row, and your screaming, wailing newborn in your arms, you will mentally write an apology note to all of the moms you judged because you swore you would do it better.
Let me be the first to say, apology accepted.
I'm back! (sorta)
The bird is down for a nap.... we'll see how long this lasts/how much I can get written.
It'll be a social experiment!
Take one very tired, very frazzled new mom who barely has a vocabulary beyond boobs, nipples, poopy, paci, baby, shhh, and the lyrics to whatever lullaby works that particular day and ask her to compose a few cohesive sentences/thoughts.
This should be fun.
And by fun I mean interesting.
If I don't post for awhile it's because I had a baby. Any houseplants that were gifted to me in the last month or so (2- a holly bush and a phaleanopsis orchid) have died a slow and thirsty death. I'm not sure how old the milk in the refrigerator is. The laundry is piled up to mid-thigh range, there's a layer of dust coating most surfaces and my once brown sofa/chair is now a mousy grey brown color due to a hearty layer of cat hair.
On the plus side, the baby is still alive! So in light of it all, I'm pretty sure when it comes to housework and parenting, I'm winning.....so there's that.
It'll be a social experiment!
Take one very tired, very frazzled new mom who barely has a vocabulary beyond boobs, nipples, poopy, paci, baby, shhh, and the lyrics to whatever lullaby works that particular day and ask her to compose a few cohesive sentences/thoughts.
This should be fun.
And by fun I mean interesting.
If I don't post for awhile it's because I had a baby. Any houseplants that were gifted to me in the last month or so (2- a holly bush and a phaleanopsis orchid) have died a slow and thirsty death. I'm not sure how old the milk in the refrigerator is. The laundry is piled up to mid-thigh range, there's a layer of dust coating most surfaces and my once brown sofa/chair is now a mousy grey brown color due to a hearty layer of cat hair.
On the plus side, the baby is still alive! So in light of it all, I'm pretty sure when it comes to housework and parenting, I'm winning.....so there's that.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Mission: Impossible
* Why won't blogger post when I schedule a blog to be published on a certain date/time?? Anyone?! *
I was really hoping to have a baby on Sunday. I know these things can't really be planned, but I kinda figured with a scheduled induction, a baby was bound to be in my arms by now.
Sadly, that's just not the way my life goes.
Here's a timeline from what will heretofore be known as "practice day"
4:45 a.m. - Wake up with the alarm, shower, do full-on hair and make-up (which Husband thought was weird "it's like putting on makeup to go swimming or something....I told him to shove it, or something equally as sweet)
5:45- Leave for the hospital, comment on how weird it is to leave our house as 2 and come back as 3 (Ha! Hahahahaha! Famous last words amIright?)
6:05- Arrive at the hospital 10 minutes early for our induction appointment (Early. Hear that baby girl? EARLY. It's only polite)
6:45- Get checked into our room and commence stripping down into the oh so glamourous hospital gown. Am asked again if I shaved and am told to take the burny antiseptic wipes to the bathroom and....ahem...wipe down for a solid 3 minutes. Husband is given the honor of keeping time to make sure I. Wipe. The. Full. Three. Minutes. Nurse leaves and says to press the nurse call button and she'll come back to set up the IV and have the doctor check me.
6:50- I've wiped the full three minutes, am standing in the room clutching the back of my gown so my bum isn't out for all to see and am trying to scale the walls so Husband isn't catching glimpses of my lilly white bum. We've pushed the button twice and no nurse. I speculate that maybe the bed is weighted and I have to be in the bed before she'll come back. Husband looks at me like I'm cray-cray. I start to climb in the bed naked bum pointing towards the door and joke that this is the moment the nurse will walk in and say "well aren't you enthusiastic, but that's the wrong end sweetie." Husband chokes on coffee.
7:00- Finally get the idea to poke my head out the door and shout "Hel-lo! I'm CROWNING in here!" But decide I don't want to be that patient. Nurse walks in as we're laughing... turns out the bed wasn't plugged in and she was starting to think that I had misunderstood and was still wiping. Turns out, I already AM that patient :/ Have IV placed (OUCH!) and am checked down there by Dr #1. Verdict: Long and very closed. Says I'm quite possibly looking at a very long induction process, but Mom says via text that I'm just stubborn enough to prove him wrong.
7:30- Monitors say my contractions are 15 minutes apart. I'm not feeling a single one, so the first dose of Misoprostol is given (1/2 a tablet).
8- Contractions are now consistently 5-7 minutes apart and I can feel them! They feel like the start of my period. Crampy, not super uncomfortable, but I'm aware of them.
8:30- Breakfast is served! A cheese omelette (meh), plain oatmeal (kindergarten paste) and Toast with sugar-free blackberry jam (the best part). I tell Husband his eggs are better, he takes this as a compliment (as he should) but he didn't eat the hospital eggs so it's really not saying much.
9:45- Contractions are now 5 minutes apart and they're getting more uncomfortable. Husband is sent home to eat and grab DVDs to watch on our room TV. I fall asleep.
11- I wake up to the nurse wanting to check my blood sugar, blood pressure and pulse. Husband texts and says he's 10 minutes away. I tell the nurse my IV is really hurting my left hand, to the point where I can't/don't want to move fingers. She takes a look, and says "honey, you're going to have a baby, that IV is uncomfortable but it's the least of the pain you're going to feel." I cry a pathetic little cry after she leaves. How the hell am I going to have a baby if I can't handle an IV?
11:45- Contractions are getting stronger and after 5 hours of being in bed and 2 episodes of Friends I want to stretch my legs and walk. I catch a glimpse of all my hospital gowned, bathrobed, slipper moccassined, big tummied glory and tell Husband it looks like he's taking his crazy grandma out for a walk....he laughs and kisses me on the cheek.
1- Lunch! Turkey sandwich, 3 carrots (WTF?) and crackers with peanut butter. Good thing I'm not hungry....though Husband sneaks me 2 licorice niblets after the nurse leaves. Sue me, seriously.... Also, second dose of Misoprostol is administered, this time I get a whole tablet.
3- Contractions are now 3-5 minutes apart and if you talk to me while I'm having one I will cut you. If I were at home, I'd be popping the Tylenol and Midol like nobody's business. I can still walk and talk through them, I just don't want to.
4- We start a Christmas movie, I let Husband pick (bad idea) and he picks Jingle All the Way. Arnold Schwarzenegger bugs me. Probably that whole mistress thing, but I try to look past it in the name of enjoying the movie.
4:30- Nurse suggests we go out and walk again to keep contractions coming consistently and put more pressure on my cervix. She says she's optimistic that because my body responded with contractions so regular, that we will be staying the night and possibly having the baby. I nearly shoot out of bed to go walk around the Labor and Delivery wing.
6:00- Dinner is served! "Chicken" with rice, a side salad, steamed veggies and a roll. I tell Husband it's like eating at a nursing home, no flavor, no spice, no nada. I eat it, because, hell, I'm paying for it and tell Husband to go out and get something yummy for himself for dinner.
7 - Husband still out finding dinner, Doctor comes in and wants to check me and re-evaluate the game plan. I ask if we can wait until Husband is back so he can be in on the decision making process. Doctor says she'll be back in 30.
7:45- Doctor is back. Husband is not. Doctor explains it's time for a shift change and she'd like to check me now since she's experienced with my care thus far. I assume the position, Doctor says "virtually no change." "Shit" I breathe. Husband arrives as Doctor explains the game plan. We're to go home and try again at a future date. Our next scheduled induction is set for the 26th, the day after her original due date. The date my doctor said that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES am I to go past, which is why she scheduled me for the 18th. Doctor says I'm just barely to the point where they would even consider inducing me and isn't sure why my doctor scheduled me so early. I am confused and bewildered, why was I put through all of this if it wasn't necessary?
8- Discharge papers are being signed. I'm choking back tears of dissapointment, Husband is doing his best to console me. That only makes it worse. Nurse comes to take out my IV, I ask if it will hurt as bad coming out as it did going in. She says no. LIES! I yelp out in pain as the IV is removed. As she presses on the IV site, I cry out again and just let myself cry it out, no more big girl panties for me. The nurse then says that the IV wasn't placed correctly and no wonder I was uncomfortable and it hurt to be removed. I quietly cry some more. I feel a bit bashed around.
8:30- We are alone in the room, getting packed up to go home. We hug for a minute and Husband says it just wan't time, she'll come on her own and that I did so well that day and shouldn't be disappointed. I tell him it feels wrong to cry, at least we still have a baby, but that I wanted so badly to have her by Christmas.
9:15- We arrive home, still pregnant and exhausted from the day, but optimistic that this was still a nudge in the right direction, forever to be known as "practice day" and confident that what happened was best for me and baby to have a successful birth, whenever that may happen. I remind myself, this may have been heartbreaking, but at least I still have a baby. She's healthy and happy inside the little home I've made for her and she'll come out to meet us when she and God decide it's time.
I was really hoping to have a baby on Sunday. I know these things can't really be planned, but I kinda figured with a scheduled induction, a baby was bound to be in my arms by now.
Sadly, that's just not the way my life goes.
Here's a timeline from what will heretofore be known as "practice day"
4:45 a.m. - Wake up with the alarm, shower, do full-on hair and make-up (which Husband thought was weird "it's like putting on makeup to go swimming or something....I told him to shove it, or something equally as sweet)
5:45- Leave for the hospital, comment on how weird it is to leave our house as 2 and come back as 3 (Ha! Hahahahaha! Famous last words amIright?)
6:05- Arrive at the hospital 10 minutes early for our induction appointment (Early. Hear that baby girl? EARLY. It's only polite)
6:45- Get checked into our room and commence stripping down into the oh so glamourous hospital gown. Am asked again if I shaved and am told to take the burny antiseptic wipes to the bathroom and....ahem...wipe down for a solid 3 minutes. Husband is given the honor of keeping time to make sure I. Wipe. The. Full. Three. Minutes. Nurse leaves and says to press the nurse call button and she'll come back to set up the IV and have the doctor check me.
6:50- I've wiped the full three minutes, am standing in the room clutching the back of my gown so my bum isn't out for all to see and am trying to scale the walls so Husband isn't catching glimpses of my lilly white bum. We've pushed the button twice and no nurse. I speculate that maybe the bed is weighted and I have to be in the bed before she'll come back. Husband looks at me like I'm cray-cray. I start to climb in the bed naked bum pointing towards the door and joke that this is the moment the nurse will walk in and say "well aren't you enthusiastic, but that's the wrong end sweetie." Husband chokes on coffee.
7:00- Finally get the idea to poke my head out the door and shout "Hel-lo! I'm CROWNING in here!" But decide I don't want to be that patient. Nurse walks in as we're laughing... turns out the bed wasn't plugged in and she was starting to think that I had misunderstood and was still wiping. Turns out, I already AM that patient :/ Have IV placed (OUCH!) and am checked down there by Dr #1. Verdict: Long and very closed. Says I'm quite possibly looking at a very long induction process, but Mom says via text that I'm just stubborn enough to prove him wrong.
7:30- Monitors say my contractions are 15 minutes apart. I'm not feeling a single one, so the first dose of Misoprostol is given (1/2 a tablet).
8- Contractions are now consistently 5-7 minutes apart and I can feel them! They feel like the start of my period. Crampy, not super uncomfortable, but I'm aware of them.
8:30- Breakfast is served! A cheese omelette (meh), plain oatmeal (kindergarten paste) and Toast with sugar-free blackberry jam (the best part). I tell Husband his eggs are better, he takes this as a compliment (as he should) but he didn't eat the hospital eggs so it's really not saying much.
9:45- Contractions are now 5 minutes apart and they're getting more uncomfortable. Husband is sent home to eat and grab DVDs to watch on our room TV. I fall asleep.
11- I wake up to the nurse wanting to check my blood sugar, blood pressure and pulse. Husband texts and says he's 10 minutes away. I tell the nurse my IV is really hurting my left hand, to the point where I can't/don't want to move fingers. She takes a look, and says "honey, you're going to have a baby, that IV is uncomfortable but it's the least of the pain you're going to feel." I cry a pathetic little cry after she leaves. How the hell am I going to have a baby if I can't handle an IV?
11:45- Contractions are getting stronger and after 5 hours of being in bed and 2 episodes of Friends I want to stretch my legs and walk. I catch a glimpse of all my hospital gowned, bathrobed, slipper moccassined, big tummied glory and tell Husband it looks like he's taking his crazy grandma out for a walk....he laughs and kisses me on the cheek.
1- Lunch! Turkey sandwich, 3 carrots (WTF?) and crackers with peanut butter. Good thing I'm not hungry....though Husband sneaks me 2 licorice niblets after the nurse leaves. Sue me, seriously.... Also, second dose of Misoprostol is administered, this time I get a whole tablet.
3- Contractions are now 3-5 minutes apart and if you talk to me while I'm having one I will cut you. If I were at home, I'd be popping the Tylenol and Midol like nobody's business. I can still walk and talk through them, I just don't want to.
4- We start a Christmas movie, I let Husband pick (bad idea) and he picks Jingle All the Way. Arnold Schwarzenegger bugs me. Probably that whole mistress thing, but I try to look past it in the name of enjoying the movie.
4:30- Nurse suggests we go out and walk again to keep contractions coming consistently and put more pressure on my cervix. She says she's optimistic that because my body responded with contractions so regular, that we will be staying the night and possibly having the baby. I nearly shoot out of bed to go walk around the Labor and Delivery wing.
6:00- Dinner is served! "Chicken" with rice, a side salad, steamed veggies and a roll. I tell Husband it's like eating at a nursing home, no flavor, no spice, no nada. I eat it, because, hell, I'm paying for it and tell Husband to go out and get something yummy for himself for dinner.
7 - Husband still out finding dinner, Doctor comes in and wants to check me and re-evaluate the game plan. I ask if we can wait until Husband is back so he can be in on the decision making process. Doctor says she'll be back in 30.
7:45- Doctor is back. Husband is not. Doctor explains it's time for a shift change and she'd like to check me now since she's experienced with my care thus far. I assume the position, Doctor says "virtually no change." "Shit" I breathe. Husband arrives as Doctor explains the game plan. We're to go home and try again at a future date. Our next scheduled induction is set for the 26th, the day after her original due date. The date my doctor said that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES am I to go past, which is why she scheduled me for the 18th. Doctor says I'm just barely to the point where they would even consider inducing me and isn't sure why my doctor scheduled me so early. I am confused and bewildered, why was I put through all of this if it wasn't necessary?
8- Discharge papers are being signed. I'm choking back tears of dissapointment, Husband is doing his best to console me. That only makes it worse. Nurse comes to take out my IV, I ask if it will hurt as bad coming out as it did going in. She says no. LIES! I yelp out in pain as the IV is removed. As she presses on the IV site, I cry out again and just let myself cry it out, no more big girl panties for me. The nurse then says that the IV wasn't placed correctly and no wonder I was uncomfortable and it hurt to be removed. I quietly cry some more. I feel a bit bashed around.
8:30- We are alone in the room, getting packed up to go home. We hug for a minute and Husband says it just wan't time, she'll come on her own and that I did so well that day and shouldn't be disappointed. I tell him it feels wrong to cry, at least we still have a baby, but that I wanted so badly to have her by Christmas.
9:15- We arrive home, still pregnant and exhausted from the day, but optimistic that this was still a nudge in the right direction, forever to be known as "practice day" and confident that what happened was best for me and baby to have a successful birth, whenever that may happen. I remind myself, this may have been heartbreaking, but at least I still have a baby. She's healthy and happy inside the little home I've made for her and she'll come out to meet us when she and God decide it's time.
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Way to make it awkward...
Like I said in the previous post, I had an induction set for the 18th, exactly one week before the Little Misses' due date.
The Saturday before I was to be induced was spent doing laundry, finishing up Christmas shopping and making sure the hospital bag was packed with everything we might need.
I was headed upstairs to take a shower before heading out to a friends' Christmas party when my phone rang and the Kaiser Hospital number flashed on my screen. Figuring it was a confirmation call about the next day's induction, I answered.
Nurse (youngish, maybe 22/24): Hi Megan we were just calling to confirm your appointment tomorrow for a scheduled induction at 6:15 a.m.
Me: Yep, I'll be there!
Nurse: Ok great also I wanted to remind you not to shave your pubic area
Me: Oh? Is someone going to do that for me? (I was being totally serious....maybe there was a nurse who REALLY wanted to do that? Or maybe they were particular in how they wanted it done? I don't know these things! This is my first time!)
Nurse: Uhm....No. We give you antiseptic wipes to clean the area and it will burn if you shave, so we ask that you don't.
Me: Oh! Well I can't see that anymore anyways so I wouldn't really feel comfortable putting a razor blade in that area without being able to see what I'm doing....that could end poorly.
Nurse: -audibly uncomfortable- Ok....bye
Me: -realizing that my attempt at humor took a dip south of awkward- Bye!
That nurse owes me for the great story she now has to tell. I can hear it now: "So this one time, this girl asked if we were going to shave her crotch...."
Party story GOLD I tell you.
The Saturday before I was to be induced was spent doing laundry, finishing up Christmas shopping and making sure the hospital bag was packed with everything we might need.
I was headed upstairs to take a shower before heading out to a friends' Christmas party when my phone rang and the Kaiser Hospital number flashed on my screen. Figuring it was a confirmation call about the next day's induction, I answered.
Nurse (youngish, maybe 22/24): Hi Megan we were just calling to confirm your appointment tomorrow for a scheduled induction at 6:15 a.m.
Me: Yep, I'll be there!
Nurse: Ok great also I wanted to remind you not to shave your pubic area
Me: Oh? Is someone going to do that for me? (I was being totally serious....maybe there was a nurse who REALLY wanted to do that? Or maybe they were particular in how they wanted it done? I don't know these things! This is my first time!)
Nurse: Uhm....No. We give you antiseptic wipes to clean the area and it will burn if you shave, so we ask that you don't.
Me: Oh! Well I can't see that anymore anyways so I wouldn't really feel comfortable putting a razor blade in that area without being able to see what I'm doing....that could end poorly.
Nurse: -audibly uncomfortable- Ok....bye
Me: -realizing that my attempt at humor took a dip south of awkward- Bye!
That nurse owes me for the great story she now has to tell. I can hear it now: "So this one time, this girl asked if we were going to shave her crotch...."
Party story GOLD I tell you.
Monday, December 19, 2011
I want
I want to see this:
Read more of this:
and cuddle this more:
That last one is definitely getting checked off the list :)
Read more of this:
Munch on these:
and cuddle this more:
That last one is definitely getting checked off the list :)
Baby OUT!
I was scheduled to be induced yesterday.... it did not go well.
The week leading up to the induction, there were grandiose thoughts and ideas that baby would come on her own and in true "Megan's child" fashion, make a grand dramatic entrance. Maybe my water would break at work? Maybe I'd suddenly go into labor at the company Christmas party? Maybe my water would break at my friend's Holiday party the night before my scheduled induction?
No dice.
So we resigned ourselves to the idea that she would come with a little nudging from the doctor. But that there would be drama somewhere in the labor and delivery process.
Instead we learned that this kid is of the "plant the seed and wait 6 mos for fruition" school of thought.
You know the kind. The conversation typically looks like this:
"Hey, you know, you might want to think about coming out now. We have a pretty cool room for you, and lots of cute clothes and I know it's warm and cozy where you are, but don't you think it's a bit crowded? Wouldn't you like some fresh air? Totally up to you of course....I was just sayin'"
Her: Blank stare, blinks a few times.
You: Just something to think about.....totally up to you. Though you might really enjoy coming out and being out of there......so......
This all has to be said with as little interest or enthusiasm as possible and then back away slowly, make no sudden movements. If she catches even a hint that this idea is what you want, all bets are off. You have to plant the seed, and then wait for it to become her idea.
I should have started the eviction process with this kid before we hit the second trimester....how stupid am I?
At the rate I'm going, I'm going to have the gestation period of a friggen' elephant.....
The week leading up to the induction, there were grandiose thoughts and ideas that baby would come on her own and in true "Megan's child" fashion, make a grand dramatic entrance. Maybe my water would break at work? Maybe I'd suddenly go into labor at the company Christmas party? Maybe my water would break at my friend's Holiday party the night before my scheduled induction?
No dice.
So we resigned ourselves to the idea that she would come with a little nudging from the doctor. But that there would be drama somewhere in the labor and delivery process.
Instead we learned that this kid is of the "plant the seed and wait 6 mos for fruition" school of thought.
You know the kind. The conversation typically looks like this:
"Hey, you know, you might want to think about coming out now. We have a pretty cool room for you, and lots of cute clothes and I know it's warm and cozy where you are, but don't you think it's a bit crowded? Wouldn't you like some fresh air? Totally up to you of course....I was just sayin'"
Her: Blank stare, blinks a few times.
You: Just something to think about.....totally up to you. Though you might really enjoy coming out and being out of there......so......
This all has to be said with as little interest or enthusiasm as possible and then back away slowly, make no sudden movements. If she catches even a hint that this idea is what you want, all bets are off. You have to plant the seed, and then wait for it to become her idea.
I should have started the eviction process with this kid before we hit the second trimester....how stupid am I?
At the rate I'm going, I'm going to have the gestation period of a friggen' elephant.....
I'm having my sister's daughter....
It has become evident that I'm having Ginger Snap's kid. This seems to be a trend in my family, Big Sister had my daughter (of the no-sleep, wants to be the life of the party/center of attention, dramatic variety) and I'm having Ginger's kid, of the stubborn, can't be told what to do, "I do it my way, when I'm ready dammit!" variety.
Oh Joy. She will be such a delightful teenager. I'm seeing lots of Xanax in my future.
To be fair, she's not entirely Ginger's kid....Husband is peppered with those qualities as well, not nearly as strong, but the flavor is definitely there.
How do I know this?
- She will kick the crap out of my ribs, bladder, internal organs etc... but as soon as someone else puts their hands on my tummy to feel, it's like she plays dead or does that super fun go limp thing that toddlers do when they throw a fit and you try to pick them up (a trick Ginger mastered well, if I remember correctly) little shit.
- She wiggles away from the heart monitor machines during my doctor's appointments. The point is to hook me up so they can get a good reading on her heart rate for 10 minutes or so. The nurse will hook me up, then walk away to...y'know do nurse stuff... then come back and check. Well not with this kid! They have to locate about where her chest is, then figure out just how much she's moving and where she's moving to and then find a spot between those two where they might get a good reading. This never works. Inevitibly, they find where she is and she'll stay there for them until they get the monitor set and are ready to walk away. As soon as they take 5-6 paces away, she wiggles out of range and the heart monitor goes silent. The nurse comes back, repeats the process and again, she wiggles out of range as soon as the nurse turns to leave. On more than one occasion, my daughter has required the nurse to stand there and hold the machine for the entire 10 minutes. I swear, the last time this happened, I could hear her giggling and blowing raspberries through my tummy.
- She thinks her life source is a plaything. At one particularly uneventful NST, baby girl apparently thought the dramatics needed to be kicked up a notch and decided to kick at her placenta where the umbilical cord connects, and when that didn't get the results she was looking for, she pulled and squeezed at her cord, making her heartrate dip below her baseline. Where did this leave her momma? Sitting in Labor and Delivery for 2 hours while they did additional testing on the little woman to make sure she wasn't doing these things out of distress. Of course she wasn't distressed....the kid was bored! By the time I got to Labor and Delivery and they whipped out their ultra sound machine, she was peacefully sleeping and sucking her thumb. I still had to sit for 2 hours to make sure she was ok.
I have an idea. If the kid exhibits behavior of a relative, that relative gets to take care of the kid until it's under control.
Ginger- Step right up, your party is waiting!
Oh Joy. She will be such a delightful teenager. I'm seeing lots of Xanax in my future.
To be fair, she's not entirely Ginger's kid....Husband is peppered with those qualities as well, not nearly as strong, but the flavor is definitely there.
How do I know this?
- She will kick the crap out of my ribs, bladder, internal organs etc... but as soon as someone else puts their hands on my tummy to feel, it's like she plays dead or does that super fun go limp thing that toddlers do when they throw a fit and you try to pick them up (a trick Ginger mastered well, if I remember correctly) little shit.
- She wiggles away from the heart monitor machines during my doctor's appointments. The point is to hook me up so they can get a good reading on her heart rate for 10 minutes or so. The nurse will hook me up, then walk away to...y'know do nurse stuff... then come back and check. Well not with this kid! They have to locate about where her chest is, then figure out just how much she's moving and where she's moving to and then find a spot between those two where they might get a good reading. This never works. Inevitibly, they find where she is and she'll stay there for them until they get the monitor set and are ready to walk away. As soon as they take 5-6 paces away, she wiggles out of range and the heart monitor goes silent. The nurse comes back, repeats the process and again, she wiggles out of range as soon as the nurse turns to leave. On more than one occasion, my daughter has required the nurse to stand there and hold the machine for the entire 10 minutes. I swear, the last time this happened, I could hear her giggling and blowing raspberries through my tummy.
- She thinks her life source is a plaything. At one particularly uneventful NST, baby girl apparently thought the dramatics needed to be kicked up a notch and decided to kick at her placenta where the umbilical cord connects, and when that didn't get the results she was looking for, she pulled and squeezed at her cord, making her heartrate dip below her baseline. Where did this leave her momma? Sitting in Labor and Delivery for 2 hours while they did additional testing on the little woman to make sure she wasn't doing these things out of distress. Of course she wasn't distressed....the kid was bored! By the time I got to Labor and Delivery and they whipped out their ultra sound machine, she was peacefully sleeping and sucking her thumb. I still had to sit for 2 hours to make sure she was ok.
I have an idea. If the kid exhibits behavior of a relative, that relative gets to take care of the kid until it's under control.
Ginger- Step right up, your party is waiting!
Friday, November 11, 2011
Things that are awesome about pregnancy
See if you can tell which ones I’m being sarcastic about…..
In all seriousness though, people…..this whole thing is pretty cool. I’d do it again and again and again in a heartbeat (which I’m sure thrills Mommy Dearest). Pretty neat what our bodies can do, and from what I understand, the best is yet to come.
- A “late night” is 10:00 and if I sit or lay down shortly after dinner, all bets are off. Sleep has never come this easy for me, this coming from the girl who pretty much requires a solid 10, 11 sometimes 12 hours of sleep to function, however it can be frustrating when Husband doesn’t come home from class until 10 and you’d like to see him and spend time enjoying a TV show while trying to keep your eyes open. See also: waking up in a puddle of your own drool. Sexay!
- The dull ache that spontaneously erupts in your hip joints when you get up from a seated or laying position. Luckily once the girls warm up, we’re off and running, but for those first 45 seconds I’m probably quite a sight to be seen hobbling around.
- The comments. “You’re so big!” “You’re not showing very much at all!” (What?!) “You’re not going to go into labor here are you?” "Look at you! You're starting to waddle!" “You think you’re tired now,just wait till you’re up at 2 am with a screaming baby!” “You really shouldn’t be moving furniture” (I was pushing in my chair) Such good opportunities to practice biting my tongue and smiling and nodding. Did someone write me a prescription for patience and tolerance?!
- My “memory foam” legs. I’m retaining water. It’s gross. And also fun! I like to make shapes and spell out ‘hello’ with the indents that my fingers leave on my legs. Husband is not nearly as impressed with my new skill, he calls it “Tempurpedic mattress legs” he really knows how to make a girl’s heart melt, I tell ya.
- Watching your clothes move because of the alien in your tummy. Buttons flinch, zipper pulls bounce, ribbed tank tops become ripply. What’s even more awesome? Lifting up your shirt to watch your skin mutate before your eyes (only in the privacy of my own home, mind you)….have you ever seen a baby bum move underneath 7 layers of skin? No? I encourage you to experience this…..it’s quite unsettling.
In all seriousness though, people…..this whole thing is pretty cool. I’d do it again and again and again in a heartbeat (which I’m sure thrills Mommy Dearest). Pretty neat what our bodies can do, and from what I understand, the best is yet to come.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
STOP!
Have you ever wanted to just scream at life and the world just spinning out of control “STOP IT ALREADY! JUST STOP!”
I need a breather… the current state of my house can attest to this. The dark circles under my eyes would second it, and my growing list of to dos would raise its hand as a third.
I blogged once the entire month of October…..once.
But in my defense, because I’m pretty much the only one who will rise to my defense when it comes to not blogging, October was a hellish month.
Don’t get me wrong, it ended spectacularly with the best baby shower evah! And our first Halloween with trick-or-treaters. But dammit if October didn’t kick my butt.
Let me count the ways:
- The first week of October found husband and I in court, suing our apartment complex for return of our security deposit, a Doctor’s appointment with an almost certain diagnosis of Gestational Diabetes, and a 3-hour glucose test that would, inevitably, unfortunately, confirm said diagnosis.
Monthly rating : Well, this is inconvenient!
- The second week of October was spent crying over the previous weeks’ diagnosis and what that would mean for the remainder of the pregnancy (at the time 12 weeks), constant scrutiny over what I could and was supposed to eat and, finally, a 3-hour long class showing Husband and I exactly what to eat (lots of protein, whole grains and veggies, absolutely NO SWEETS) when to eat (every 2-3 hours….blech) and when and how to prick my fingers (four times a day, side of the finger, squeeze until you get enough blood). To really put the icing on the cupcake (that I can no longer have), a couple of co-workers decided this would be the week to be total jerks to me and my boss decided to sit back and do nothing. To say I was stressed beyond capacity and an emotional wreck is a vast understatement.
Monthly rating :Well, this is inconvenient! Certainly it can’t get any worse…..can it?
- The third week of October was spenteating force feeding myself, pricking my finger, charting blood sugar numbers and listening to Husband struggle with a terrible head cold. Towards the end of the week,despite eating what I was supposed to, when I was supposed to my numbers kep tcoming back too high, and the Doctor said that since diet wasn’t controlling the GD she advised I begin medication to help regulate my blood sugars. If that didn’t do the trick, she said, I’d move on to injectable insulin. Needless to say, I not only felt like a failure, I was devastated, embarrassed, scared and really friggen frustrated. She also discussed what this meant for the remainder of the pregnancy (now 11 weeks) i.e twice weekly fetal monitoring sessions to make sure Baby Girl wasn’t in distress or getting too big, and possible induction between weeks 39 and 40.
Monthly rating :Well, this is inconvenient! Certainly it can’t get any worse…..can it? To hell with it all!
- The fourth week of October is when things finally began to turn somewhat. My baby shower, hosted by Mommy Dearest, Big Sister, Ginger Snap and Monster was a total surprise and really made this girl feel pretty darn lucky and loved, despite all the not-so-great that was happening. My first fetal monitoring sessions proved to be exactly the kind of reassurance that I had been craving for the past 31 weeks (I’m a worrier ok?!). I got to see Baby Girl via ultrasound, and hear her heartbeat speed and slow with everykick to my rib and squirm in my tummy. The nurses were patient and kind, answering all of my questions and reassuring me that this diagnosis would not destroy me. (Make no mistake, by this point Husband and I had cemented our Rose Colored sunglasses in place, were focused on the silver lining and were making the best of the situation, as we always do when facing adversity)
Monthly rating :Well, this is inconvenient!Certainly it can’t get any worse…..can it? To hell with it all! I think I can….
So you see, in my defense, there wasn’t a whole heck of a lot that I was “loving on Wednesdays” or fun photos to take with my iPhone, or even things that I was ready to share with members of my own family, let alone with the entire blogosphere and whomever may stumble here on occasion. This blog might have taken a turn for the worst and could have been pretty dark there for awhile. But like the saying goes, when it rains it pours and then the sun comes out.
It goes without saying that the sun is definitely back in my life….
I need a breather… the current state of my house can attest to this. The dark circles under my eyes would second it, and my growing list of to dos would raise its hand as a third.
I blogged once the entire month of October…..once.
But in my defense, because I’m pretty much the only one who will rise to my defense when it comes to not blogging, October was a hellish month.
Don’t get me wrong, it ended spectacularly with the best baby shower evah! And our first Halloween with trick-or-treaters. But dammit if October didn’t kick my butt.
Let me count the ways:
- The first week of October found husband and I in court, suing our apartment complex for return of our security deposit, a Doctor’s appointment with an almost certain diagnosis of Gestational Diabetes, and a 3-hour glucose test that would, inevitably, unfortunately, confirm said diagnosis.
Monthly rating : Well, this is inconvenient!
- The second week of October was spent crying over the previous weeks’ diagnosis and what that would mean for the remainder of the pregnancy (at the time 12 weeks), constant scrutiny over what I could and was supposed to eat and, finally, a 3-hour long class showing Husband and I exactly what to eat (lots of protein, whole grains and veggies, absolutely NO SWEETS) when to eat (every 2-3 hours….blech) and when and how to prick my fingers (four times a day, side of the finger, squeeze until you get enough blood). To really put the icing on the cupcake (that I can no longer have), a couple of co-workers decided this would be the week to be total jerks to me and my boss decided to sit back and do nothing. To say I was stressed beyond capacity and an emotional wreck is a vast understatement.
Monthly rating :
- The third week of October was spent
Monthly rating :
- The fourth week of October is when things finally began to turn somewhat. My baby shower, hosted by Mommy Dearest, Big Sister, Ginger Snap and Monster was a total surprise and really made this girl feel pretty darn lucky and loved, despite all the not-so-great that was happening. My first fetal monitoring sessions proved to be exactly the kind of reassurance that I had been craving for the past 31 weeks (I’m a worrier ok?!). I got to see Baby Girl via ultrasound, and hear her heartbeat speed and slow with everykick to my rib and squirm in my tummy. The nurses were patient and kind, answering all of my questions and reassuring me that this diagnosis would not destroy me. (Make no mistake, by this point Husband and I had cemented our Rose Colored sunglasses in place, were focused on the silver lining and were making the best of the situation, as we always do when facing adversity)
Monthly rating :
So you see, in my defense, there wasn’t a whole heck of a lot that I was “loving on Wednesdays” or fun photos to take with my iPhone, or even things that I was ready to share with members of my own family, let alone with the entire blogosphere and whomever may stumble here on occasion. This blog might have taken a turn for the worst and could have been pretty dark there for awhile. But like the saying goes, when it rains it pours and then the sun comes out.
It goes without saying that the sun is definitely back in my life….
 |
| Missing the biggest ray of sunshine of them all, my Mommy Dearest |
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
My life according to my iPhone
Sometimes the best measure of a person is to take a peek at the pictures they take. Since I usually have my phone on me, it's no surprise that a majority of my photos on a day to day basis are taken with my iPhone.
Plus, it sounds much more interesting than "pictures from my canon point and shoot" or "pictures from my DSLR." Snooze fest!
Here goes:
Cars that look like animals:
Random acts of stupidity:
Enough with this cryptic bib with its hidden meanings! I pulled the janky one off the shelf and the one on the right stared back at me. Oooh, got it.
Plus, it sounds much more interesting than "pictures from my canon point and shoot" or "pictures from my DSLR." Snooze fest!
Here goes:
Cars that look like animals:
 |
| Can you see the bear in the boat? hint: The two eyes are obvious, the area around the rudder is the nose and mouth |
 |
| Find the kitty! hint: The eyes are obvious again, the white swishes on either side are whiskers, the door handle is the nose, and the orange area/license plate is an open mouth because the kitty says "Meow" |
Random acts of stupidity:
Ok grammar/spelling police, get out your red pens and find the typo! Big Sister and I stood in front of the bib on the left for a good 15 minutes trying to figure it out. Here were our ideas:
- Every turkey is thankful for me (?)
- Every thankful turkey for me (?)
- Every chick with tailfeathers thankful for me (?)
 |
| Uhm.... What? I guess I didn't realize Obesity was self-aware enough to do studies of itself... |
 |
| Dude...the sign? I don't believe we can make this any easier on you Captain Oblivion |
Aaah! Realizing just how much hair Monster chopped off:
 |
| Do I have any left?! |
Babies that pass out on my floor:
 |
| Almost too cute to wake up....good thing she's even cuter when she's awake |
Kay so what does this say about my life??
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
What I’m Loving Wednesday
Look at me! Two weeks in a row! Can I get a woot, woot?!
Here’s a sampling of what made my heart a flutter this week:
Here’s a sampling of what made my heart a flutter this week:
 |
I love this recent picture of Husband, he's so cute! |
Husband: Ok, this is kind of a copout answer because he always makes my heart a flutter. But hear me out. I love how easy going and selfless this guy is. There is no such thing as inconveniencing my husband; I don’t think the word exists in his vocabulary. I’m serious! From getting up an hour to two hours before he has to to make my lunch for work, to hauling a lawn mower across town to help out my recently-moved grandparents, he does it all for the smile it puts on peoples’ faces. The first words out of his mouth in the morning, when I get home from work and just before bed is “what can I do for you, baby?” The kicker? He means it. I don’t know what my mother-in-law did to raise such a good man, but whatever it is, it needs to be taught in schools. The world would be a much better place (not to mention cuter) if everyone were more like Husband.
 |
| The view on my way home...nothin' but blue sky and open road. Aahh |
My new route home: There is a very obvious shift in moods when I take the shorter, more trafficky route home as opposed to the longer, but less traveled (by the greater population) route home. I arrive home calmer, in a better mood and ready to start my evening when I take the barren route home because I can jump on the highway, crank up the radio, or not and drive a consistent 75 mph the entire way home rarely seeing another car on the road. Side note: yes the thought has crossed my mind if I were ever to crash into a phone pole, drive into a ditch or run out of gas on this route home, but husband would know where to look for me and, Bonus! At least I’d die smiling and happy and not stressed out.
Beginning work on Baby Girl’s room: There’s something about getting that first coat of paint on and seeing some of her clothes hanging in her closet and her bassinet all set up that makes this whole thing seem more real. Last night when we were painting to a soundtrack of Louie Armstrong and Otis Redding and the song “My Girl” came on and husband starting singing it and I suddenly saw him singing to our daughter who will be here in just a few short months and the idea took my breath away. We made a baby. MIND=BLOWN.
These nifty hair buggers: I remember seeing these when they first came out and thought “how the heck do they work?” I’d been curious to try them, but unwilling to spend the $4 to find out I was disappointed or that they were a gimmick. So I waited and glanced longingly at them whenever I happened to pass down the hair aisle in Target. So it was just my luck when Ginger Snap bought a pair and said they didn’t work for her but that I was welcome to them if I wanted. I don’t think a day has gone by where I haven’t had them in my hair for some portion of time. They are pretty amazing. And anything that can hold up my mess of hair that drives me out of my ever-loving mind sometimes, without the use of hairclips that create kinks or a million bobby pins that pinch and pull is tops in my book.
Sending Mommy Dearest to a much needed, much deserved and long overdue massage: I hope she enjoyed the crap out of it. If anyone needed it, it was her and I was more than happy to do that for her. Love you mom!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
What I'm Loving Wednesday- on Thursday!
~ Late Post ~
We’ll see how long this little series lasts
Here’s a brief sampling of what’s made my life easier this week:
It also dries powdery, unlike the tacky, sticky or greasy concealers that I’ve been using that seem to wear off and only exacerbate any acne problem I may have been trying to hide. It’s a vicious cycle yo.
Johnson & Johnson’s Bedtime Lotion- Yeah, I know it’s for babies; I’m just really into buying age inappropriate things.
No seriously, I used to use the body wash but since my skin is stretching and oh so itchy, I’ve switched to the lotion. This stuff smells so good, the good folks over at J&J actually sell an “adult” version, but it’s essentially a more chemical filled version of the baby stuff and it costs more money for less product. Clever little cows, aren’t they? I just buy the baby version and slather that stuff all over. The fragrance is just perfumey enough to want to put it all over, but won’t compete with perfume and at night, when I reapply before bed (SERIOUSLY ITCHY SKIN, guys) it’s calming and relaxing enough to put me right to sleep.
Side note: I used to use Palmer’s Cocoa Butter for stretch marks but that stuff reeks. Halfway through the day I felt like I smelled like a mix of corn chips and pot roast. Not so sexy when you’re pregnant, just sayin’.
We’ll see how long this little series lasts
Here’s a brief sampling of what’s made my life easier this week:
Cuppy- That’s just what Husband and I call it, but what should really be called is the pink, unbreakable, cup of ice cold amazingness. This baby is 20 oz of pure genius, plain and simple. I recently left the cup in the car, half full with ice water on a lengthy venture into Ikea on a triple digit August day. When I returned to the hot car two hours later, tired and parched, I took a hesitant sip from Cuppy, expecting a drink of warm water that would rival hot tub temperature but was pleasantly surprised by icy cold goodness. The double walledness of Cuppy keeps water at drinkable temperatures (read: ice cold) like a champ. He’s also very durable. I have dropped him in the parking garage no less than 5 times since I bought him and there’s not a chip or scratch to be seen. I’m thinking he’s made of Kryptonite. The best part about Cuppy? I got him for $12 at, where else, Target.
Maybelline Age Rewind Under Eye Eraser- I realize I don’t have much age to rewind, but (!) I didn’t buy it because it’s “age defying.” So there. I use this as all over concealer under my foundation. The concealer comes with its own applicator, a fuzzy round ball thing that evenly distributes the product to whatever it is you’re trying to conceal and gives it a feathered effect so it isn’t obvious you’re looking to hide things. For me lately it’s broken capillaries around my nose, and weird purplish red acne scar looking things that show up without the acne (thank god) but stick around making me look like these puppies:
It also dries powdery, unlike the tacky, sticky or greasy concealers that I’ve been using that seem to wear off and only exacerbate any acne problem I may have been trying to hide. It’s a vicious cycle yo.
Johnson & Johnson’s Bedtime Lotion- Yeah, I know it’s for babies; I’m just really into buying age inappropriate things.No seriously, I used to use the body wash but since my skin is stretching and oh so itchy, I’ve switched to the lotion. This stuff smells so good, the good folks over at J&J actually sell an “adult” version, but it’s essentially a more chemical filled version of the baby stuff and it costs more money for less product. Clever little cows, aren’t they? I just buy the baby version and slather that stuff all over. The fragrance is just perfumey enough to want to put it all over, but won’t compete with perfume and at night, when I reapply before bed (SERIOUSLY ITCHY SKIN, guys) it’s calming and relaxing enough to put me right to sleep.
Side note: I used to use Palmer’s Cocoa Butter for stretch marks but that stuff reeks. Halfway through the day I felt like I smelled like a mix of corn chips and pot roast. Not so sexy when you’re pregnant, just sayin’.
Bridesmaids- Mom, Dad, don’t buy this movie, you won’t like it. You won’t find it as funny as the girls and I did, so you’re welcome to borrow it, but don’t ruin it for the rest of us mmkay?Can I just say that I want to be besties with Maya Rudolph and Kirsten Wiig? This movie has made me realize that they are my kind of people. Too much good stuff to list about this movie. Husband bought it on sale when it was released on Tuesday we watched it that night, and I will probably watch it again with the commentary on before the week is up. Seriously good stuff. But not for you mom and dad, trust me, you probably won’t like it as much as we did. It’ll be for you what Foul Play was for me. ....Crickets….
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
This is your brain. This is your brain on HCG
It’s amazing what hormones can do to a person. I always kinda thought “pregnancy brain” was a cop-out for basically being a smug pregnant person who can’t think beyond anything gestational-related.
For a reference please go YouTube “Pregnant Women are Smug” it’s hysterical, and a shining example of what I didn’t want to turn into when I became pregnant.
Now that I am six months into the crazy whirlwind that is being pregnant, I fully take back all judgment I previously had against pregnancy brain and for underestimating the effects of HCG on the human brain.
Several weeks ago (when, I can’t remember) I was deep in the throes of a work project (what, I can’t remember) when my cell phone rang and Big Sister’s face and name popped up on the screen. As I was currently too busy to chat, I let the call go to voicemail and decided I’d call back in a few minutes.
A short five minutes later, work crisis averted, I picked up my phone and dialed my voicemail to listen to Big Sister’s message.
Lost in the message, I began to ask all the pertinent questions you would ask and responses you would provide during a phone conversation.
I asked how her day was, and she responded with a story of Baby E giving her a bloody nose by poking her finger too hard up big sister’s nose.
I responded that we probably needed to put a stop to Baby E exploring our noses and teeth (things which she hadn’t yet discovered on her own face) due to the risk of injury.
I found it slightly weird when Big Sister repeated basically verbatim what I had just said, but figured she was just repeating me as an affirmation that she had heard me.
I asked if she was ok and how long the bleeding lasted, and Big Sister talked over me with a different story of what Baby E had done that day. I thought that was slightly rude, but Big Sister was on a roll talking so I sat back and listened.
At the next pause, I asked another benign question that escapes me now, but was pertinent at the time. Again, Big Sister steamrolled right over me and prattled on about something completely off topic to what it was I had asked about.
By now I was pretty miffed that she basically called just to talk over me and irritated of my assumed role of having to sit back and listen and not actively participate in the conversation.
Just as I was about to jump in and be snotty about not letting me talk, Big Sister said “Ok well, anyways I just called to see how you were, call me back when you can.”
I was dumfounded. What the hell just happened??
And then there it was. “Beeeeeep. You have no new messages.”
I had been talking to a voice mail.
Seriously, HCG is a bitch, man.
(Sidenote- must clean up mouth before baby comes…. ‘Bitch’ is going to have to stop being a post script to all of my statements at home :/)
For a reference please go YouTube “Pregnant Women are Smug” it’s hysterical, and a shining example of what I didn’t want to turn into when I became pregnant.
Now that I am six months into the crazy whirlwind that is being pregnant, I fully take back all judgment I previously had against pregnancy brain and for underestimating the effects of HCG on the human brain.
Several weeks ago (when, I can’t remember) I was deep in the throes of a work project (what, I can’t remember) when my cell phone rang and Big Sister’s face and name popped up on the screen. As I was currently too busy to chat, I let the call go to voicemail and decided I’d call back in a few minutes.
A short five minutes later, work crisis averted, I picked up my phone and dialed my voicemail to listen to Big Sister’s message.
Lost in the message, I began to ask all the pertinent questions you would ask and responses you would provide during a phone conversation.
I asked how her day was, and she responded with a story of Baby E giving her a bloody nose by poking her finger too hard up big sister’s nose.
I responded that we probably needed to put a stop to Baby E exploring our noses and teeth (things which she hadn’t yet discovered on her own face) due to the risk of injury.
I found it slightly weird when Big Sister repeated basically verbatim what I had just said, but figured she was just repeating me as an affirmation that she had heard me.
I asked if she was ok and how long the bleeding lasted, and Big Sister talked over me with a different story of what Baby E had done that day. I thought that was slightly rude, but Big Sister was on a roll talking so I sat back and listened.
At the next pause, I asked another benign question that escapes me now, but was pertinent at the time. Again, Big Sister steamrolled right over me and prattled on about something completely off topic to what it was I had asked about.
By now I was pretty miffed that she basically called just to talk over me and irritated of my assumed role of having to sit back and listen and not actively participate in the conversation.
Just as I was about to jump in and be snotty about not letting me talk, Big Sister said “Ok well, anyways I just called to see how you were, call me back when you can.”
I was dumfounded. What the hell just happened??
And then there it was. “Beeeeeep. You have no new messages.”
I had been talking to a voice mail.
Seriously, HCG is a bitch, man.
(Sidenote- must clean up mouth before baby comes…. ‘Bitch’ is going to have to stop being a post script to all of my statements at home :/)
Thursday, July 28, 2011
My Missed 15 Minutes of Fame
This is the story of how I missed my 15 minutes of fame by listening to my crazy paranoid self, which actually, for once worked in my favor. You see, I was thisclose to being on the TV show "I didn't know I was Pregnant."
Yeah, I could have been one of those people.
TMI Warning, for those of you who don't care to know that much about me, TURN AWAY NOW!! We won't judge:
*************************************************************************************
I was supposed to get my period in March, when it didn't show up by day 50 in my cycle my first thought was "finally! Proof that my Thyroid really is a problem," and with that, I made an appointment with my doctor.
A simple blood test later (3/29) proved that my Thyroid was indeed failing. My doctor explained that chances are, it had impacted my "lady business" enough for me to not ovulate and therefore, not have a period. He ordered a prescription Thyroid replacement and told me that it would take a few weeks to kick in, that I probably wouldn't ovulate again in April, but that it would be enough of a hormone replacement to jump start a period sometime in April.
My birthday was on April 3 and Husband spoiled me rotten, he arranged for a massage, bought me a Nook, organized a brunch and generally took his naturally doting nature to the next level.*
By the time his birthday rolled around, we were deep in the throes of house hunting and making offers, and being outbid and the stress of that combined with work had really taken a toll on the both of us. We couldn't have been more relieved to get out of dodge for our Mystery Vacation in Monterey.
It wasn't until the first of May rolled around that I realized, I hadn't gotten a period again. This didn't worry me too much as I chalked it up to the medication taking longer to kick in, and went on with my life.
We made an offer on our first home, entered escrow and had joked with our realtor that the next big thing we could think about was a baby, but that wasn't for awhile.
Mother's Day rolled around and as we were leaving my parent's house after Sunday dinner I wished my mom a Happy Mother's Day and she said "You too?" I gave her a look and said "No, and even if I was, this isn't how I'd tell you. But no, I'm not."**
By the second week of May, with no period in sight and me still not too worried, except for the fact that maybe my meds were off, Husband brought home a box of pregnancy tests.
"Just take one, either way you'll know what's up and if you need to see the Dr. again."
So I obliged.
Now first, let me explain that these were not any pregnancy test you see advertised on television. They were your average pee on a stick and wait test, but First Response or EPT they were not. These were clearance, bottom shelf, generics called, I shit you not, Answers First (you see what they did there? Answers First =/= First Response).
I read the clear as mud directions and payed extra special attention to the results key which clearly indicated that:
( I ) = not pregnant and ( I I ) = pregnant
From this I deduced that the right-most line was the "test" line, the line that indicated whether or not the test had been administered correctly, and that the left-most line was the indicator of a hitch hiker or not.
Easy enough, right?***
My test result came back as this:
The first line is very clear but the test line was very faint, which to me, meant that I hadn't peed on it correctly (how you pee on something wrong, I guess I'll never know). I emerged from the bathroom, test in hand, showed it to Husband and said "Nope!"
After a few minutes of hemming and hawing over the results and the test instructions all he could offer was "I don't know babe, I kinda think you are." I tampered any growing excitement he had with my expertise on reading pregnancy tests**** and explained that if the test line doesn't show up, it's a false positive.***** That was on a Tuesday.
He insisted I take another a few days later and so, to get the most accurate results, I took it first thing in the morning on the following Saturday. I got the same result.
The following week after several stressful conversations about the affordability of our new house and whether or not we were sure it was "the one," Husband decides to drop a bomb on me one night while I'm home alone and he's working late.
"I was talking to (co-worker) L today and she said her sister had the same test results as you and she really was pregnant."
At that point the stress and overwhelming nature of it all crashed down on me and I, in a panic, called my sister in sobs. No sooner had she answered I was blurting out, through tears, "I think I'm pregnant."
I retold her the events of the previous several weeks and test results and she simply suggested we go buy a digital test that would tell us, without the codes of pink lines, flat out whether or not there was reason for panic. She also reminded me that even if I was, I shouldn't be crying and that it was exciting and fun and that I'd have the same reactions and support from most everybody.
That night, well after any reasonable hour, Husband and I purchased a Clear Blue digital test. I went to the bathroom and within three seconds of my "taking" the test I had my answer:
That was May 11th. On May 18th we told my parents, and, to keep this story short, we had a doctor's appointment on May 19th at which point I figured I'd be a few weeks along, maybe 2-4.
I was 8 weeks and 5 days, baby had a beating heart and was starting to look more like a baby than a blob. The doctor cheerfully told me I was nearly through my first trimester and was 90% out of the woods for miscarriage as a heartbeat could be found and heard and baby was developing normally.
I just stared with my mouth open. The pregnancy itself was a surprise, but being two months in already was downright shocking. She calculated the conception date as right around April 3-4.******
Suddenly, things I had previously written off as stress or upset tummy all made sense. I had been tired alot and falling asleep earlier on weeknights (stress of buying a house and work), on Mother's Day, Monster made bacon-wrapped shrimp and I couldn't stand to look at or smell the things, (just a funky tummy, not hungry for bacon-wrapped shrimp).
And then I remembered all the stupid things I'd done that could have hurt the little nugget (it's amazing how attached to it you get when you realize you're expecting a baby) I'd had sips of wine, I'd sat in ocean water drenched underwear kayaking with 100 ton sea lions, I'd spent two evenings in a hot tub, I'd skipped dinner, and marinated myself in Diet Coke.
The doctor assured me that none of those things had negatively impacted our child-to-be, and told me to relax, enjoy the remaining 6.5 months of the pregnancy and to have a nursery ready by Christmas Day, our due date. I left surprised at this new development and overjoyed at this gift that had been unknowingly bestowed upon me.
Husband and I are thrilled at becoming parents, and mom's super happy she's not getting a toilet grandbaby, and honestly, I am too.
* No, that is not a euphamism.
** Keep in mind she knew I'd started Thyroid meds, but had NO IDEA I'd missed another period.
*** Wrong!
**** That's sarcasm, I can count on one hand the number of pregnancy tests I've taken and they have all been out of paranoia, not out of actual hope
***** I now know there is no such thing as a false positive
****** Apparently those Thyroid meds work pretty quick
Yeah, I could have been one of those people.
TMI Warning, for those of you who don't care to know that much about me, TURN AWAY NOW!! We won't judge:
*************************************************************************************
I was supposed to get my period in March, when it didn't show up by day 50 in my cycle my first thought was "finally! Proof that my Thyroid really is a problem," and with that, I made an appointment with my doctor.
A simple blood test later (3/29) proved that my Thyroid was indeed failing. My doctor explained that chances are, it had impacted my "lady business" enough for me to not ovulate and therefore, not have a period. He ordered a prescription Thyroid replacement and told me that it would take a few weeks to kick in, that I probably wouldn't ovulate again in April, but that it would be enough of a hormone replacement to jump start a period sometime in April.
My birthday was on April 3 and Husband spoiled me rotten, he arranged for a massage, bought me a Nook, organized a brunch and generally took his naturally doting nature to the next level.*
By the time his birthday rolled around, we were deep in the throes of house hunting and making offers, and being outbid and the stress of that combined with work had really taken a toll on the both of us. We couldn't have been more relieved to get out of dodge for our Mystery Vacation in Monterey.
It wasn't until the first of May rolled around that I realized, I hadn't gotten a period again. This didn't worry me too much as I chalked it up to the medication taking longer to kick in, and went on with my life.
We made an offer on our first home, entered escrow and had joked with our realtor that the next big thing we could think about was a baby, but that wasn't for awhile.
Mother's Day rolled around and as we were leaving my parent's house after Sunday dinner I wished my mom a Happy Mother's Day and she said "You too?" I gave her a look and said "No, and even if I was, this isn't how I'd tell you. But no, I'm not."**
By the second week of May, with no period in sight and me still not too worried, except for the fact that maybe my meds were off, Husband brought home a box of pregnancy tests.
"Just take one, either way you'll know what's up and if you need to see the Dr. again."
So I obliged.
Now first, let me explain that these were not any pregnancy test you see advertised on television. They were your average pee on a stick and wait test, but First Response or EPT they were not. These were clearance, bottom shelf, generics called, I shit you not, Answers First (you see what they did there? Answers First =/= First Response).
I read the clear as mud directions and payed extra special attention to the results key which clearly indicated that:
( I ) = not pregnant and ( I I ) = pregnant
From this I deduced that the right-most line was the "test" line, the line that indicated whether or not the test had been administered correctly, and that the left-most line was the indicator of a hitch hiker or not.
Easy enough, right?***
My test result came back as this:
 |
| Not my actual test. Does that make it more or less creepy and gross?? |
After a few minutes of hemming and hawing over the results and the test instructions all he could offer was "I don't know babe, I kinda think you are." I tampered any growing excitement he had with my expertise on reading pregnancy tests**** and explained that if the test line doesn't show up, it's a false positive.***** That was on a Tuesday.
He insisted I take another a few days later and so, to get the most accurate results, I took it first thing in the morning on the following Saturday. I got the same result.
The following week after several stressful conversations about the affordability of our new house and whether or not we were sure it was "the one," Husband decides to drop a bomb on me one night while I'm home alone and he's working late.
"I was talking to (co-worker) L today and she said her sister had the same test results as you and she really was pregnant."
At that point the stress and overwhelming nature of it all crashed down on me and I, in a panic, called my sister in sobs. No sooner had she answered I was blurting out, through tears, "I think I'm pregnant."
I retold her the events of the previous several weeks and test results and she simply suggested we go buy a digital test that would tell us, without the codes of pink lines, flat out whether or not there was reason for panic. She also reminded me that even if I was, I shouldn't be crying and that it was exciting and fun and that I'd have the same reactions and support from most everybody.
That night, well after any reasonable hour, Husband and I purchased a Clear Blue digital test. I went to the bathroom and within three seconds of my "taking" the test I had my answer:
 |
| Again, not my actual test... |
I was 8 weeks and 5 days, baby had a beating heart and was starting to look more like a baby than a blob. The doctor cheerfully told me I was nearly through my first trimester and was 90% out of the woods for miscarriage as a heartbeat could be found and heard and baby was developing normally.
I just stared with my mouth open. The pregnancy itself was a surprise, but being two months in already was downright shocking. She calculated the conception date as right around April 3-4.******
Suddenly, things I had previously written off as stress or upset tummy all made sense. I had been tired alot and falling asleep earlier on weeknights (stress of buying a house and work), on Mother's Day, Monster made bacon-wrapped shrimp and I couldn't stand to look at or smell the things, (just a funky tummy, not hungry for bacon-wrapped shrimp).
And then I remembered all the stupid things I'd done that could have hurt the little nugget (it's amazing how attached to it you get when you realize you're expecting a baby) I'd had sips of wine, I'd sat in ocean water drenched underwear kayaking with 100 ton sea lions, I'd spent two evenings in a hot tub, I'd skipped dinner, and marinated myself in Diet Coke.
The doctor assured me that none of those things had negatively impacted our child-to-be, and told me to relax, enjoy the remaining 6.5 months of the pregnancy and to have a nursery ready by Christmas Day, our due date. I left surprised at this new development and overjoyed at this gift that had been unknowingly bestowed upon me.
Husband and I are thrilled at becoming parents, and mom's super happy she's not getting a toilet grandbaby, and honestly, I am too.
* No, that is not a euphamism.
** Keep in mind she knew I'd started Thyroid meds, but had NO IDEA I'd missed another period.
*** Wrong!
**** That's sarcasm, I can count on one hand the number of pregnancy tests I've taken and they have all been out of paranoia, not out of actual hope
***** I now know there is no such thing as a false positive
****** Apparently those Thyroid meds work pretty quick
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